


Equilibrium

by Emblue_Sparks, ShantiRani



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 69, Anal Sex, Benny topping from the bottom, BennyCas arguments, Blow Job, Blow Jobs, Coming Out To Sam, Dean Whump, DeanBenny smut tags:, DeanCas smut tags:, Destiel Mall date shopping, Hand Job, Happy Ending, Kissing, Mark of Cain, Multi, No MCD, Poly V Fic, Post Coital Cuddling, Purgatory, Supportive!Sam, Top!Benny, Unprotected Sex, Vampire resurrection numero dos, benny - Freeform, bottom!Dean, canonverse, cas, cum kink, destiel hurt/comfort, follows episodes 10x20-10x23 with different season outcome, pov: dean, starting from 10x19 "The Werther Project", weaves Benny into remaining season 10 storyline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:01:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emblue_Sparks/pseuds/Emblue_Sparks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShantiRani/pseuds/ShantiRani
Summary: Shortly after falling victim to magic from the Werther Box, Dean realizes Benny was no hallucination. His resurrection is wild as hell, and forces Dean to confront the feelings surrounding their relationship that he's tried to bury for years. While still contending with his feelings for both Cas and Benny, and succumbing to the insidious Mark, his heart is swiftly breaking in two. Desperate to rid Dean of the curse and keep him human, Cas and Benny must put their issues aside to save the man they both love, even if in doing so means one of them might have to let go.
Relationships: Castiel/Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester
Comments: 54
Kudos: 21
Collections: Destiny Big Bang





	1. The Werther Project

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to our Destiny bang! ShantiRani and I have woven a Canonverse tale with our three favs and hope you like it. 
> 
> Thank you to eyesofatragedy and tfw_cas for the alpha and beta assistance, you guys rock! And high fives to @writeyourmindaway on tumblr for the cool Mark of Cain dividers!
> 
> Kudos and hugs to Morla, our artist, for the delectable visual delights she's created for us. She showered us with her talent and we love all the pictures! Thank you dearest Morla!!!!
> 
> Alright, strap in and enjoy the ride😎✌

"Sam! Suzie Q wants you up here, now!" Dean hollered while this Suzie chick had a pistol trained on him and looked dead ready to use it.

He'd decided to tag along on this weirdo box case in St. Louis since Sam was so put out he'd tackled a vamps nest on his own. Sure it sated the Mark, but the farther he got from the fanged slaughter trailer, the more he realized Sam had a point. The Mark made him stronger, not invincible.

Now they were investigating a magic box at a Men of Letters chapter house, in which a twitchy Suzie Somebody was obviously in need of more Prozac, and a little less paranoia.

"No! No! Get out! Get out! Out! Out! You bastards!" she screamed when seeing the wispy green smoke wind its way up from the basement, into the kitchen and their eyes.

"You let it out! You have any idea what you’ve done?"

Dean heard Sam say, "Put the gun down. We can talk, okay?"

Suzie's face turned a sickly white with terror. "Stay back!"

"Sam, what's with her?" Dean implored, disturbed at her erratic, gun toting behavior, which seemed to be directed at no one in particular. 

Her voice ripped from her throat in fright, and Dean assessed that whomever she was talking to sure seemed fairly damn real _to her_. "No, please stop! It's not real, it's not real!" 

She backed into the home's office and locked herself inside, still screaming bloody murder. "Oh please, no!"

Sam urged her to unlock the door. "Suzie! Hey, let me in. I can help you, okay?"

Dean had fought the green haze as long as he could, but taking a few dazed steps back, he found himself in a new realm entirely.

"Dean?" he heard his brother's worried voice, as if he'd just up and disappeared into thin air. Hell, _he had._

Looking around at the place, it was familiar, yet he called out to Sam anyways. His brother's name died on his lips when a Leviathan suddenly appeared, salivating at Dean, the snack who'd wandered in like a steak dangling in front of a greyhound at a race track. The set of teeth widened, but never had the chance to take a chomp because his head fell off. The sight of Benny standing behind the beheaded borax boy with his machete, was most welcome. 

"Huh, now don't that beat all." 

Dean seethed, "You're not real."

Benny appeared somewhat wounded by the statement. "Come on, Dean. We got so much to catch up on."

This was confusing; that green smoke had to have him higher than a kite, because Sam indicated Benny hadn't made it. He'd stayed behind by choice so he could escape. "Hey, look, it’s good to see you, okay? It is. But like I said, you ain’t Benny."

Benny scratched at his beard. "I’m not? Well, shoot."

"Hey, I’m bummed out too," Dean admitted, and he really was. This was downright excruciating seeing not-Benny like this, "but you are just a figment, okay?"

"Why not trust me? I’ve gotten you outta here before," Benny begged. 

Damn, was it tempting. God, how Dean had missed him. Part of him missed this place too; that aspect of him now amplified by an insidious Mark.

"I want to. I need out of here," he gazed into those kind eyes, the shade of cornflower blue. 

"'Need' and 'want' are just two different things, ain’t they? No matter which way you turn, you keep ending up here. We gotta wonder, why this place?"

"The purity of it."

" _Exactement_ , cher. The things we did here, _together_ , leaves a mark on your soul. It's simplicity, minus the monsters and mayhem. A life uncomplicated, set apart from the very construct humans have built for themselves. What they deem 'right'. No rules. No judgement. Have _who_ and what you want, _when you want it_."

The ache for Benny and what had befallen him, by Dean's own requests, ate at him like slowly dissolving acid. He was so much more to Dean than a best friend or brother. When Benny didn’t return with Sam, and Dean was informed he'd elected to stay behind in order to give his brother the chance to escape, it broke something in him. It didn't matter how very _Benny_ it was for him to do what he did, for Dean. Because if he hadn't asked, he'd still be here. Instead of this hallucination. 

"Since when do I ever get what I want, huh?" 

"Say I am a figment. Bit of Hoodoo Hocus Pocus. Wouldn't I be trying to get you to stay here, permanently?" Benny pointed out.

"I'll bite," Dean decided, if for nothing else than more information.

"All I've said is we've got some catching up to do, and mentioned your predilection for returning might mean more than you care to admit. Your choice to stay or go," Benny explained, making a show of tossing his blade and sitting on a tree stump. 

"Fair enough," Dean replied, finding a nearby log to sit on. "Tell me, what've you been up to.."

The next thing Dean knew, he was waking up in Suzie's house, holding a broken bottle and mumbling something about the Mark wanting him to live. He heard Sam's yells from the basement and stumbled at first, but made his way down there as fast as he could. 

Dean knew the box needed Men of Letters blood to close off its magic, and it seemed like Sam had bled too much already for the damn thing. He slapped Sam out of his hemorrhage trance and took over.

"It wants more, it can take from me. Move over," he ordered, and cut his wrist.

Bleeding into it, then closing it, they both neutralized the thing. He took the codex Sam wanted and got outta Dodge. 

Down the road in Baby, Dean realized, "That says something, doesn’t it? Werther splits us up in there. Within an hour, we’re both on the brink of death. Sorry about the vamps nest, going rogue on you like that."

Sam admitted, "You know what, Dean? Don’t apologize. I… I think that makes us even."

Dean pursed his lips and shrugged before sharing an interpretation. "The universe is trying to tell us something we both should already know. We’re stronger together than apart."

"What'd you see from that gross green stuff?" Sam queried with veiled suspicion.

"Purgatory, you?"

"Help, from Rowena."

"Yeah, _riiight._ "

Sam blinked several times in a row and yawned. Sinking back into his seat he quietly supposed, "Whatever mumbo jumbo hallucination was in that box really wiped me out. You good to drive?"

"When am I not?" But Dean knew there were plenty of times he'd driven, and nothing but divine intervention saved him from snoozing behind the wheel and killing them both.

As Sam settled in for a nap, Dean indulged himself in wondering about Cas. He'd just been home with them and Charlie. It'd made him so content having everyone he loved under the same roof. He hoped the search for Metatron ended soon. Dean still couldn't understand how the celestial booger jailbroke himself out of Heaven. 

Figment Benny had him hurting, he supposed he always would, given how things went down. Damn, he wished they coulda buried the hatchet. Having his brother and two best friends around would've been the closest to Heaven he'd ever get.

And yet, he acknowledged to himself how utterly overwhelming the other side to that coin would be. Despite nothing physical transpiring between him and Benny in Purgatory, something unmistakable had existed between them. Once they found Cas and the strife between those two ignited, the nature of his feelings for the gentle Cajun came into stronger focus. Although the torch he'd carried for his angel would never diminish, he never expected to carry another beside it. 

Dean realized having both in his life, no matter how much he cared for them, would be both blessing and curse. If they couldn't get along, he'd lose one. If fences were mended and he dared reveal his feelings for either, it was a safe bet, he'd lose one. No, sleeping Bayou boys needed to lie. He'd been damn lucky to get Cas back from not one, but multiple catastrophes. The second everyone stopped jumping from the pot into the frying pan, he wanted to work towards better communication with Cas and see where that led. 

It'd only been half an hour since leaving the chapter house in Baby's rear view mirror, when something startled Dean into swerving towards oncoming traffic, then a blinding pain sent him off the shoulder.

Sam shot up, hollering, "Christ, Dean! What the hell? I asked if you were good to dri-"

"Ow, fuck! Ow, oh, shit!!" was all Dean was capable of communicating while fumbling for the door handle.

"What's wrong? Oh my God, you having a heart attack? Stroke?" Sam panicked. 

Once out of the car, Dean nearly collapsed beside Baby's grill but kept moving further away from the road towards a nearby tree line. He'd been fine one minute; the next he was certain a grenade had gone off inside his arm. Once secluded from the highway, he ripped off his faded flannel to get a gander at his arm situation.

He'd felt a similar sensation once before, and it'd only been a discomfort. Seeing the glowing, swirl of light stretching against the skin of his forearm from the inside brought him back to the moment in which it previously occurred. Yet this time, it scared the Hell out of him. Benny's soul had justifiably wriggled within the terrifyingly small space of his arm, during round one. Assuming this was Benny, and he was somehow back for round two, something was different. And possibly very wrong. 

Instead of just a section of his arm flickering from illumination, his entire arm was ablaze like some raver's tech-fucking-NO glowstick, and his skin was stretching impossibly far with something flailing around inside it. Dean was certain it would breach through his arm tissue like the alien punched through people's chests in that movie. 

"Sam! Gimme your knife. Now!!"

He could hear the moment his brother witnessed the horror scene. "Scream later, Samantha; c'mon, gimme the knife!"

The second it was in his hand, the light from within burst forth. It hurt so badly Dean couldn't speak or scream if he wanted to. But he could see the light swirl zooming from his arm like a blow torch. It lasted seven or eight seconds before flickering and morphing before his eyes. He could barely keep them open when the shock from seeing the gaping hole in his arm revealed a fair amount of bone, tendon, and blood. 

"Sammy? I think I need a hospital," Dean squealed in shock before passing out.

When he came around, he heard Sam arguing with someone while trying to yank him up. 

"It doesn't matter if it's not like last time. This time he's bleeding out! Get in the car, I gotta find an emergency room right now."

Who was Sam talking to? Why was he sitting on his arm and squeezing it so damn tight? He hadn't broken it! Yanking himself loose from Sam's hold came with the swift understanding something had exploded out of his arm; thick sections of skin had fallen off, and some were still partially attached. Nearly all of his radial and ulna bones were showing from his palm to inner elbow. Just like that, he clocked out again.

The next time he woke up was in a post-op recovery room. Sam sat beside his bed, looking half livid and half scared shitless. 

"What happened?" Dean asked. 

"You tell me; I got nothing.." Sam helplessly admitted.

Having only fragments of the last few hours, he really didn't know what was IV drip or real, since most of the shit they dealt with on the daily could easily be dismissed as drug induced by the average Joe.

Dean gave him the rundown of everything he could recall, starting with when he arrived at the Men of Letters chapter house, up to birthing who-knew-what by the side of the road. 

Sam sported a strange look, but what really set alarm bells off for Dean was the intensity with which he'd listened to every detail, and hadn't questioned anything that came out of his mouth. A few hours later, Dean was transferred to a different unit with full expectations he'd stay overnight for monitoring, given the extensive damage to his arm that had the surgeons completely mystified. 

As soon as hospital staff were convinced he was compliant and IV pain meds had been given, they carefully bailed outta Dodge. The plan was to haul ass back to the bunker, so Cas could heal him.

Sam had left him in the lobby, sitting in a wheelchair they'd found, and went for the car. When Sam returned and wheeled him to the passenger side, it was a good thing he was high as all get out and temporarily rendered silent. It avoided any bizarro reactions at finding Benny gently leaning against Baby, greeting him with a small, nervous smile. 

All he was capable of was mouthing an astonished, "Benny," before his treasured friend politely opened the car door and helped him into the front seat. As they drove off, Dean stated, "I've been high too many times today, Sam. I'm in dream numero dos and seeing Benny. This is why I stick to booze and leave the hard shit alone."

Sam got right to the point. "That's the real Benny, behind you."

Dean slowly turned around; he was high, but not so high he didn't understand that in one wrong move he'd be bleeding out if he wasn't careful. Blinking to test his vision, he took a second to register the news. 

Benny gave him a sheepish look. "Non-figment and in the flesh. I'm sorry for ripping yours up pretty good; not sure why this time was different."

Dean looked back at Sam, who promised, "He's passed every test from our kit in the back...and then some. I don't know how this happened."

He turned to Benny again, who raised his hands in submission. "I was cuttin' and killin' my way through the morning, then you showed up. Now I'm here."

He didn't know what to say. It only registered on a surface level, thanks to the IV Dilaudid. A proper reception would have to wait for him to sober up. 

Thankfully, Benny seemed to understand, and respected that. "Take your time lettin' it sink in. I'm still needing some m'self."

They were slowing down, and Dean glanced around to find out why, when the plan was to get back to the bunker ASAP. Sam had pulled them up to a Popeye's Chicken drive-thru and was ordering them some dinner. Then he turned to Benny, asking, "What do you want?"

Dean was stunned. His eyes were the size of saucers.

"How 'bout the sampler, extra spicy," Benny replied. He then addressed Dean with a knowing expression, while laying a hand on his stomach, "Been a long time since I've had something in my stomach spelled with more than a single letter with a plus or minus sign attached. I am famished."

While Sam completed their order, Benny confessed, "Said this time was different."

Dean tilted his head and furrowed his brows in curiosity.

"Cher, I'm human."


	2. The Pow Wow

When Cas pulled Connie into the bunker garage, his concern regarding Dean had his nerves uncomfortably riled. All Sam provided was that Dean had sustained an injury on a case, it'd required immediate surgery, and was far better to explain at the bunker. As he descended the stairs into the War room, he spotted Dean snoring, with his feet propped up on a chair in front of him, and a blanket around his shoulders. His heavily bandaged arm was elevated on two pillows stacked on the table.

"Hey, Cas, I appreciate you coming back so soon," Sam greeted.

Dean snorted and stirred, Cas noticed a trail of drool on his chin, which he wiped off when opening his sleepy eyes. "Hiya Cas," he smiled and lazily whispered, not quite yet out of his fog.

Normally Cas would find it cute and endearing, but as his grace scanned Dean's injury, concern took center stage. Closing the distance between them, he very delicately palpated the sections of the arm not tightly wrapped.

"Dean? This wasn't your typical incision for a blood magic ritual, or something you usually 'donate' blood for on the job."

"Nooo it was not," Sam confirmed, indicating the tale was certainly worth hearing.

"The closest comparison I can make to such extensive damage is a violent expulsion of some kind...like a woman abruptly going into labor, then delivering two minutes later." Cas glanced at them for an explanation.

Dean's face was dazed when firing off a reply. "You're not wrong."

Sam just shook his head.

Dean informed, "One minute I was fine, the next it felt like a bear trying to claw its way outta my arm."

"A glowing bear," Sam added.

"How did this happen, what were you doing?" Cas insisted on knowing, while two gentle fingers to the forehead had Dean right as rain.

Sam got to the point in their story when green smoke was billowing through the house and he hallucinated Rowena, when Benny lumbered into the library from the kitchen. He was carrying a full plate of Popeye's left overs and licking wing sauce from his fingers.

"This sure is a fine abode you ha-," Benny froze in his tracks, but recovered quickly, "Well..long time, no see Hot Wings. Wondering where you were."

Cas didn't know what to say. The words wouldn't come. Of course he wanted to ask the obvious question.

Benny unfroze the moment and kept things moving along. "Don't hurt yourself wonderin' how. Holmes and Watson here've already been at it the last few hours. Have a sit, maybe we can solve this mystery, then sing Kumbaya."

"I have no desire to sing. My concern is learning what did this to Dean's arm, and why."

"Take it easy, Cas. He was only brought into this world a few hours ago," a much improved Dean lightly chided.

Immediately correlating his birthing comparison with Dean's errant comment, Cas launched himself at Benny.

"You did this to Dean!"

Sam stepped in the way, utterly shocked at his behavior. "Cas! He didn't do it on purpose."

"Why did he do it at all?" He demanded.

Dean chimed in, "Sam was just getting to that part, I'm fine now. Will you listen and help us?"

They were regarding him as if his reaction was highly unreasonable. His Dean was hurt, the vampire responsible was back from the dead, and eating people food? Despite his reluctance, Cas put himself in check. Although he'd never care to admit it, he still turned to the brothers for specific social cues. Not to mention, he trusted them. Eyeballing a munchie fueled Benny, he straightened his coat and tie, then took a seat beside Dean.

Sam redirected the conversation back to where it'd gone off track. "Alright. Dean, what's the last thing you remember before waking up in the chapter house?"

"Asked Benny what he'd been up to. Then I was in the house, shaking a broken bottle in my hand."

Cas watched Dean's expression darken. "And?"

"And I was mumbling that the Mark wanted me to live."

"What's this Mark?" Benny wondered, pushing away his membership to the clean plate club.

Grief welled inside Cas, he had hopes of curing Dean, yet a distinct mourning settled inside him when thinking about how if he'd have been there, he might've stopped him from taking it.

"The Mark of Cain," Dean clarified with a troubled tone.

Benny questioned, " _The_ Cain?"

Looking down at his lap, Cas knew how Dean was beginning to regret his choice. He wished he could take that burden from him.

"A Knight of Hell got loose, a real Beauty Queen. She wreaked all kinds of havoc, it was the only way to stop her."

"That don't sound too good," Benny stated.

"We stopped her though, so it is all good," Dean quickly brushed it off.

"No, it's not all good, Dean. Power like that comes at a price," Benny admonished.

"I said we stopped her, let's not make more of this than it is," Dean dismissed.

Cas sensed the topic greatly bothered Benny.

"And who stopped you?" he asked. "Cas?"

Cas already felt miserable enough that he hadn't been there to intervene, now that wonder-vamp was back, he'd surely face his ire as well.

Benny turned. "Sam?"

It appeared to Cas that Sam couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Benny either.

Dean defended, "They were fixing the aftermath of my mistake, alright? If I hadn't manipulated Sam into a bad angel possession, Kevin would still be alive and they'd have been with me. So don't put this on them. I made the call, blame me!"

Cas couldn't stand Dean's self deprecation and guilt. He always tried to do the right thing and deserved so much more. "You're not the only one who makes mistakes, Dean. If I hadn't been so gullible with Metatron, Gadreel never would've fallen, causing the damage he did."

Benny appeared angry and confused. The bunker’s climate had plummeted, Cas felt like a third wheel. Or was he now the fourth? Too many wheels to think about, when he'd rather use his for leaving. He’d messed up and for tonight at least, they were better off without him. Dean likely wanted more catching up with his vampire anyway.

He just wished he better understood the heavy feeling in his gut that always simmered around Benny. "Are you feeling better, Dean?"

"Other than wondering when I mailed out invites to a guilt roast, yeah. Thanks. Hey, where's the fire? You just got here!" He heard Dean questioning when walking towards the garage stairs.

Cas wanted to stay, but getting hit with Benny's mystery resurrection and its impact on an already complicated situation felt too awkward for his tastes.

"I had a lead on Metatron and should check on Charlie. Please keep me updated on anything you learn."

The garage was cooler than the bunker, and even though Cas didn't get hot or cold, he couldn't explain the sensation of fire ants crawling inside him. If he had the use of his wings he'd fly to Baffin Island or Antarctica. But even that wouldn't bring him relief, because his physical temperature wasn't the source of his discomfort. Even more bothersome was the fact he couldn't pinpoint the source.

Cas loved Dean so much it hurt. He was beside himself with need to cure the Mark, and with Benny now in the mix, he knew curing it would only rid him of one problem. The other was the consequences of Benny's return, and what that meant for his relationship with Dean.

  


Benny couldn't understand why Cas wouldn't stay put. That angel had no idea the legions of monsters Dean cut and chopped through to find him in Purgatory. The reverence with which Dean always spoke of him, had Benny certain he was listening to a lovesick fool. And nobody but a reciprocating lovesick fool would stick their neck out for him the way it'd sounded like Cas had. So when he'd greeted Dean at that river with all the warmth of an ice cube, it sure felt like a one sided love affair. Not to mention blatant cowardice when by the angel's own admission, he'd left Dean to the wolves.

"You alright? Dean prodded.

"All that time in Purgatory you spent finding him, sure sounded like he was someone you considered worth dying for," he carefully laid out. He didn't know if Dean really was in love with Cas or not. And by extension, if Sam knew or not. "But what I see is a good man, choosin' to hold on to someone who's trying to stay away from him."

Benny could tell Dean was at a loss for words, at both Cas's departure and his assessment.

Sam scoffed, "Cas, trying to stay away from Dean? Think you have it backwards. He's usually running all over the place trying to fix things for Dean."

"Did he tell you he abandoned Dean the second they landed in Purgatory? Supposedly 'for Dean's own good'."

Sam soberly replied,"Dean doesn't talk much about Purgatory."

Benny sensed he'd hit a nerve. Dean's brother had never accepted him. But it wasn't for Sam that he'd stayed in Purgatory. He knew Dean loved his brother something fierce, and if the angel bailed on him, Sam was all he had left. Dean was an incredible man, one he'd cared for more than he ever expected to. He deserved to be surrounded and cherished by people he loved.

Initial impressions hadn't left Benny feeling warm about Sam, but he was Dean's brother, not his. Clearly there was bad blood all around regarding the Purgatory topic, so for now he’d let it be. Switching topics, he steered everyone back to the puzzle about his resurrection.

"Well anyhow, when Dean here offered me a ride back. This sounds lewd, but when entering Dean, I noticed him tensing in pain."

Sam seemed irritated when commenting, but immediately regretted it. "Happens when you stuff something too big inside something too small."

Benny professed with a smirk, "Now hold on, I was gentle as could be."

"Not like there's any lube over there," Dean cracked.

"It was slow and consensual," Benny picked up what he was playing with a chuckle.

"Skip to the relevant part," Sam closed his eyes, but twirled his finger in a 'hurry it up' gesture.

"His right arm was twitchin' something fierce. First time, I wanted out but stayed still as best I could. This time, I had to hold on by the skin of my teeth. Something was trying to push me out. Saw his skin glowin'."

Sam offered, "Kind of like when a body tries expelling a transplanted organ. It recognizes it as foreign and attacks. But this didn't happen last time?"

"Nope. Hurt cutting my arm, but that's normal," Dean stated.

Benny remembered, "Dean, did you say you were holding a broken bottle when you woke up?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe it was the Mark behaving like an autoimmune response, trying to cut you out. I'm grabbing a few books and turning in for the night."

"Night, Sam," Dean yawned.

Benny watched Sam tiredly lumbering towards the hall. He'd expected a more rocky reception from him, but was pleased the expectation hadn't been met. Maybe it was because he was human now? He wasn't sure. But if he was going to get acquainted with the brother Dean held in such high esteem, he relished the opportunity.

Dean stood and stretched, obviously weary from the day’s unexpected excitement. Benny grabbed his plate and the two trudged down the hall for the kitchen, where he cleaned up after himself.

"You do remember how Cas was a monster magnet in that place, right?" Dean brought up again.

"Hard to say whether it was him or you." It was the truth. Benny had to dodge twice the teeth and claws when Dean was around. "But I'd do it again. That's what friends are for."

Leaning up against the steel kitchen island, Dean nodded. "I can see how it was hard for you to interpret him as that. But he really was doing what he thought was best for me. Right or wrong, he does care."

Benny dried his dish, put it away, and explained, "I watched you chase him, risking life and limb, while he ran away from you. He rolls in from who knows where, and the second things heat up in here, he flies the coop."

"It's not how he really is. He went to Hell for me and Sam both. Castiel means so much to us. To me."

Benny hung his head when making a confession. "In truth, I expected you would've had that white picket fence by now. No apple pie, sure, but I never met a man like you Dean. Your heart's pinned on your sleeve so it don't fall off while workin' hard, taking care of everyone else. When's someone going to take care of you?"

Shrugging, Dean admitted, "When evil takes a smoke break I guess. But there's always time for pie."

"When you're ready, I'll bake you some. Shoot, I'm ready for that slice of life m'self."

Looking unapologetically into the kindest orbs of green in existence, Benny held his gaze until Dean broke eye contact.

"S'ppose I better get some beauty sleep, now that I actually need it," he grinned at Dean.

Dean showed Benny to his room. Before leaving, he mentioned with incredible sincerity, "I'm happy you’re back. This place is your home for as long as you want it. Will you stay?"

Those words carried more weight for Benny than Dean could know. Before finding his angel in Purgatory, Benny couldn't help falling for this stubborn human, who fought like a warrior of Hell with the heart of a Saint. There were times he was certain Dean might be falling for him too. He wasn't clear on the nature of the feelings Dean had for him now, or what calling this place his home too meant. But even if in mere friendship, Benny would gladly stay and bask in the kindness shining from Dean and his home as long as he wanted him to.

"Mighty kind of you Chief. Think I'll stick around this time."

Dean turned, embracing him with the warmest hug he'd ever received. He thought he might cry, probably because hugs were so hard to come by in Purgatory. But now he was no longer in Purgatory. He was home.


	3. Angel Heart

A few days later, after things had completely calmed down, Dean received a call from Castiel.

"Claire needs help. I'm hesitant to admit I'm unsure if she'll accept it from me. I don't know what I'm doing. Ergo, I need help."

"Alright. Text me where you're at. We'll leave as soon as we can." Dean hung up and looked at Sam and Benny, who were up to their elbows in lore about the Mark.

"Claire's in trouble. Cas needs our help," Dean simply stated.

"Kay." Sam knew there was no question, they were going, and that was that.

Benny however, "Who's Claire? Hot Wings have himself a girl?"

"It's his vessel's daughter," Dean was quick to clarify.

Benny quietly puzzled over that. Dean and Sam gave him a little Angel 101 in the car, so by the time they arrived at the hospital Cas mentioned, he was up to speed and then some.

"Thanks for coming," Cas quietly issued, Dean could tell he was less than thrilled to see Benny had tagged along.

"Yeah, of course," Sam assured.

Dean felt the need to clarify, "Cas, look, we're always glad to help, but Claire and I aren't exactly on the best of terms. I mean, should I even be here?"

Cas implored, "I need help from both of you. You were both troubled teens. You speak her language."

Dean watched Sam smirk, "All right. How is she?"

Cas suddenly became flustered. "Well, I-I haven't gone in yet. I was waiting for backup."

Benny tried squelching some kind of amused squeal and a grin, Dean elbowed him harshly. He was all too aware Benny and Cas were oil and fire. But neither one of them were gonna pull the same shit that they had in Purgatory, if he had anything to say about it. "Let's do this."

Claire disdainfully eye rolled when seeing them walk in. "What are you doing here? Why the hell did you bring him? And who's that?” she pointed to Benny.

Dean sarcastically drawled, "Awesome."

"That's Benjamin," Cas stated, as if doing so clarified everything, "Claire, what were you doing in an alley outside of a bar?"

Claire sighed in extreme irritation. "Wrong place, wrong time. Story of my life."

Sam interjected, "Look, we're not leaving until you tell us what the hell really happened. So if you want us gone...Talk."

Claire looked at Cas, took aim, and fired. "I was looking for my mom. I wanna find my mom and tell her she ruined my life. She left me, and so did my dad. But Jimmy's gone, right? Has it easy up in Heaven. So...Mom's the only one left I can tell off."

To Dean, Sam looked like he understood all too well. "When's the last time anybody heard from your mom?"

"When I was living with my grandmother, used to send me postcards," she rummaged through her backpack and pulled one out, giving it to Sam, "This was the last one, sent from a motel here in town.

Dean spotted the name, 'Curtis' on the front of the crappy Motor Court Hotel postcard.

Claire continued, "I was looking for the loser Ronnie Cartwright. Mom was supposed to meet him when she up and disappeared. He knew her name, even though he said he'd never seen her. He knows something."

"Why was she looking for him?" Cas asked Claire.

"Duh, she was looking for you."

Out in the hallway, once they'd excused themselves, Cas confessed, "This is my fault."

Benny blatantly dropped, "Can't argue there."

Irritated, Dean tossed him a stern glare. Benny wasn't technically wrong, but given nothing could be changed, his statement was irrelevant and unhelpful.

Cas blatantly ignored Benny and continued. "Amelia disappeared while looking for an angel."

"Most are dicks so, I’m in. Gimme something to punch already," Dean volunteered, but retracted his comment when seeing the worry on all three of their faces, "I'm fine, relax. Let's go talk to this Ronnie douche at the bar."

Sam seemed game, but said as he made for Claire's room, "We're gonna tell her firs- crap, she's gone. You guys go to the bar. I'll go back to the motel in case that's where she's headed."

They were within walking distance of the motel, so they left Sam and B lined it for Ronnie. They found him on a stool throwing back a beer, one glance in their direction and he tried to bolt, but Cas was quick on the draw and snagged his shirt collar. Dean was grateful for the sneaky catch, and pushed the guy into the booth by the door he'd been gunning for and slid in right next to him, nice and cozy.

"That bitch attacked me!" Ronnie spilled.

The maddening itch in Dean’s veins began to pulsate and spread throughout his body, he tried to ignore it. Although, where Claire was concerned, that wasn't gonna happen. He grabbed Ronnie's jacket and made his face kiss the table, swiftly and passionately. The kiss had to hurt but thankfully, the bar was busy enough to cover the ' _thwunk_ ' sound. Temporarily, the pulsing decreased.

Benny cooed, "Already confessing to an unfortunate familiarity, maybe you're not as dumb as you look."

Dean addressed Benny, "Oh no, he is." Then turning to Ronnie he scolded, "Poor choice of words, pal. Where's Amelia?...No?"

He slammed Ronnie's head against the table again, even harder. The guy lifted his head and muttered something unintelligible. Dean could tell his reactions were garnering concern from Cas and Benny.

"Ronnie, there's three of us. We've got the time and energy to go all day here, but Benny here seems to think you really aren't as stupid as I think you are."

"Fuck. Fine!" Spitting out a tooth, Ronnie reassessed his situation. "Faith healer fixed me, but I gotta work for him as payment. She was the last one, I swear."

Cas seethed. "Last what?"

"Recruit, shit, I dunno. He wanted drifters, lost people with no one to go lookin' for them."

"And?" Dean demanded.

"He tied one of 'em up and... He ... he ... he was, uh... cutting on them. Look, after that, I was done. I quit."

"Name?" Benny growled.

"What's it matter? Haven't seen him since."

Dean slammed his head down so hard the table cracked, and so did something in Ronnie's face.

"Fuck! Holloway, man. Peter Holloway."

As they got up, Dean pulled the guy in and said, "You stay away from Claire, or I'm gonna cut on you and believe me pal, you don't wanna know my qualifications."

In the car, Sam texted Cas he'd found Claire.

"Dean, it's her birthday, _was_ her birthday recently. I know gifts don't make amends for what I've caused for her, but can you help me?"

Benny tapped on Dean's shoulder from the back seat, "Hey, drop me back off with Sam, would ya, chief?"

Dean couldn't blame him, he didn't want to go shopping either.

"Yeah, sure."

Once Benny was out they headed to the nearest mall. Dean decided Cas looked like he could use some reassurance.

"Listen, what you're doing for Claire and helping her find her mom...It's good. It's a good thing."

"But?"

Dean continued, "Well, where does it end? I'm not trying to be a dick, but truth is, you're not her dad. In fact, you're not anything to her except a constant reminder of someone that's gone."

Castiel's demeanor changed to that of someone utterly crestfallen. "No, I'm...Responsible for everything that's happened to her."

"Look, I'm just saying, she's been surviving on her own for quite a while now, and ... and then partly because she doesn't have anybody to answer to.You know, there's... There's nobody holding her back."

Castiel scoffed and seemed incredulous. "We just found her in a hospital. You telling me that she'd be better off on her own?"

Dean clarified, "I'm saying she might be stronger on her own."

That appeared to give Cas something to momentarily chew on. The mall would be closing in forty five minutes. Dean prodded, "You've got a gift plan?"

Cas was clueless and admitted as much. "You are no doubt better at understanding teenage girls than I could. I defer to your experience and judgement."

Dean didn't quite know how to take that. "Something tells me she ain't exactly the Forever 21 type, so uh..let's see what else they got here."

He let his finger roam down the mall's store index, until finding a good place to start.

Cas offered, "What about Spencer's Gifts? It has the word gift in it."

Not being able to argue with that logic Dean went along. He'd been in there eons ago with a chick he'd met, when on a case in Colorado that'd lasted a few weeks. It was just as campy as he remembered. Cas appeared to experience a sensory overload, and took some time absorbing the lights and sounds of the petite store. Dean watched a pained expression spread across his face when gazing upon a stemless wine glass with a pentagram and lettering.

"Don't Hex my Vibe," Dean, why would someone knowingly drink from this when it probably has poison in it?"

He snorted, "It's a joke, buddy."

In the games section, Dean found a dice game that looked kinda fun, called, "Naughty Nights Raunchy Dare Dice."

For a split second he imagined playing that with Cas and things going hilariously wrong.

"What's that game?" his feathered object of long term desire prompted.

"Nothing, nothing man. Just some dice game. What about this one? Too on the nose?" Dean pointed out a wonky creature on the front of a game box that coulda been a demon dressed as a bunny. "Disturbed Friends."

Cas objected, and Dean amusedly looked forward to hearing why.

"It literally says on the box, 'This Game Should be Banned." I appreciate the honesty, but that's a terrible marketing strategy Dean. I wouldn't buy the game now, would you?"

Good lord. "No, I suppose not. Hey look, the 18 and over room." Dean was entirely too excited about the room, and forgot about Claire completely on account of how much women's lingerie, pastel dildos, and vibrators were available.

"Dean, is Claire a lesbian?" Cas posed with a genuine tone in his voice.

"No idea, not that it matters. Good for her if she is."

"You misunderstand. I don't mind who she dates, I just hope she finds someone she loves, to be with her and protect her. I've made such a mess of things. But if she is a lesbian she might like something similar to this, it's visually becoming..right?" Cas pointed out some rather fine bridal lingerie.

Dean had to draw the line somewhere. "I agree, but it's not really the kind of thing a father figure gifts a daughter. You're not her dad, but believe me...opening a gift like this from you ain’t gonna improve things."

Holding up a rather delicious black lace body stocking to himself, Cas wondered aloud, "This seems like it would be comfortable sleepwear. More than your thick robe, the material doesn't look like it breathes well. Have you ever tried sleeping in something like this, Dean?"

Dean damn near choked. He wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry, or take Cas right then and there on the floor of the 18 and over room, because imagining him in that get up was doing things to Dean. Soon to be very noticeable things.

"Actually, it kind of screams you. Knock yourself out," Dean said as he determinedly walked out of that suddenly very warm space.

"Gonna look in Hot Topic, see if we have better luck over there," he threw his thumb in the direction of the store just across the way.

Swiftly scuttling over, he buried himself in the Nightmare Before Christmas section, pretending to peruse the Jack Skellington mugs. A short time later he'd moved over to the wallet section, when Cas was suddenly by his side. It did not go unnoticed that he was carrying a Spencer's Gifts bag in his hand, and Dean started getting flustered wondering if he really had bought that body stocking. He had a really bizarro expression on his face.

"Dean, what's Destiel?"

"A what now?" Alarm and panic were coursing through him like IV energy drinks.

Cas held up a shirt which read "Destiel Exists."

He wanted to murder Chuck, dammit. He and Sam said no more book bullshit.

"It's subtext in a book series by Chuck. Doesn't actually happen."

"Why not?" The innocent look on Cas's face was a crime, and a kick in Dean's gut.

"Reasons. Gimme that," he barked a little more harshly than planned, while snatching the t-shirt out of his hands. "Perfect, something that mirrors her face. How about this?"

Cas's face melted so endearingly that Dean knew they were walking out of the store with it, and the guy didn't even have to vocalize his opinion that it was the perfect gift.

"Thank you, Dean. It's very, her."

"Sure is, let's buy it and get outta dodge."

Dean was delighted to be getting out of the damn mall. When climbing in Baby, the moon was high, he was beside an all too content looking Cas beside him, and-"

A really loud and distasteful sound shattered his calm mood, startling him. "You eat something for once? Why'd you just bust ass...in my car!!!!"

Cas was sporting a really creepy smile Dean knew was a legit try at peopling something. His laugh was really epic though, especially when Dean began to roll the windows down and realized it wasn't Cas making the noise. He swiftly reached under him to find a whoopie cushion with Spencer's Gifts on the front.

"I believe the expression is 'payback's a bitch', yes?"

Dean laughed his ass off remembering that hotel room prank he'd pulled on Cas when hunting that cambion, Jesse Turner. "Yes! It's the correct expression Cas, I'm proud of you. That's a good one."

"I still don't completely understand toilet humor, but it seemed appropriate."

"Hey, it’s the thought that counts. Good one."

Dean proceeded to rattle off every fart joke he knew to Cas on the ride back, absolutely thrilled to no end that Cas was actually laughing at some of them. Not fake laughing. But he genuinely understood a few and found them funny. The sound was music to Dean's ears.

  


"Sam, tell me about that Mark." Benny's curiosity had gotten the better, having sensed guilt and tension the last time it was brought up.

Setting his laptop aside, Sam said, "What do you want to know?"

"What does it do?"

"Cain had it. Got it from Lucifer. God forced it upon Lucifer. It's a lock, meant to keep God's opposite at bay. But it's basically a curse. You get it, you're extra strong. But it drives you mad with the lust to kill."

"Why on Earth would Dean volunteer himself for somethin' like that?" Benny wanted to know.

"So he could kill a Knight of Hell who got loose, who was bent on doing major damage. He thought it'd give him the needed power up, which it did, but it also turned him into a demon when he died with it still on his arm."

Benny knew his look of shock was severe.

"Took a bit, but we cured him of his demon. The Mark is still active on him though, and that's one reason Cas has been searching far and wide for a way to remove it."

"I've never met someone so ready to shoulder the worst for this world," he lamented.

"Yeah, me either. I tried telling him not to."

Benny quietly laughed, "That's about as effective as an 'I dare you'."

"It was programmed into him by our dad. Sky's falling, he's gonna hold it up," Sam issued.

It was clear to Benny he had something on his mind.

"I never thanked you, for what you did back there. Staying and saving me. I was an asshole to you. It was a rough time, but that was no excuse. Dean vouched for you, which is about as high a recommendation as anybody can get. And I wouldn't believe him. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Really, I am." Sam appeared all manner of sincere.

"I'm glad Dean thinks so highly of me. Good to have a second chance with you too."

Claire walked in rolling her eyes at he and Sam. "Great."

Sam sat up straight and told her to sit down. "We aren't going anywhere, and neither are you."

When Cas came through the door a while later, with Dean choo choo trainin' behind, Sam asked right away. "PD reports Ronnie's dead. That you?"

"Pfft! I didn't lay a hand on him," Dean professed and added, "he told us about a guy named Peter Holloway, a faith healer, running some shtick in town."

"Dean, that isn't exactly true," refuted Cas.

"I didn't kill the guy," Dean explained indignantly.

Benny heard Cas call Dean out. Good, because if he hadn't, he sure would've. This was not the Dean he remembered, and if there was a chance of getting his Dean back, he was going to move heaven and earth to do it.

He saw Cas silently mouth to Sam, "He's getting worse."

Benny watched Sam immediately open his laptop and start a search.

"I've found a property in town leased to a Holloway. Let's go check it out."

"That's a good idea, Claire and I will go," Cas quickly added.

Dean turned to Sam, "You in on this?"

"Ah, yeah. I'll go. Dean, you stay. Benny's got a few valid questions, so here's the laptop. Let me know what you guys find in your research."

Sam spoke with such assurity and the rest followed with such swiftness, it didn't really give Dean time to argue. As Sam left the room behind Dean, he gestured apologetically for having thrown Benny under the bus like that.

"What d'ya wanna know?" Dean asked him, somewhat perturbed by how quickly he'd been mathed out of the equation.

"Dammit!' Claire barged right back in, Angry Cat and all, after having left and B lined it for the bathroom.

"What's yer problem?" Dean barked at her.

She slammed the door behind her and huffed, "Girl stuff. None of your business."

Dean seemed befuddled, but Benny inwardly laughed at how easily the eldest Winchester had been bamboozled.

"Okay," sighed an irritated Dean, who fumbled around the room’s bulletins advertising local activities, "mini golf it is."

Benny had never "mini golfed" before, but nevertheless, found it enjoyable, save from the griping between Dean and Claire. It didn't bother him much, as it was like listening to Dean's daughter talking back, with intelligence behind it. Although, it surprised him how easily Dean played right into her little traps.

"C'mon, c'mon. Pick up."

"Everything alright, Chief?" Benny prodded, obviously knowing something was worrying Dean.

"Sam shoulda called by now. If not him, then Cas. Something's not right," Dean fussed more to himself than anyone.

"You want to head over?" Benny prompted, thinking it might distract him from Claire.

"Yeah, probably should."

"Finally. Thanks Benny," Claire said exhaustedly.

Benny was thankful all were silent in the car, although he wished he could've tried to assuage Dean's worries. But he sensed that in doing so freely, it would make it even more awkward than the man-child mini golf mess. Upon arrival, they entered the home with guns drawn.

Benny was right behind Dean when he rounded a corner to find Castiel with his hands up, indicating he was unarmed. Claire ran past all of them to her mother.

Motioning to Cas, Dean suggested, "Let's find Sam. Claire, you stay with your mom, alright?"

She thanked them and they left, but they didn't get far. Sam was holding a club, ready to swing and said, "Grigori!"

Dean asked, "What the hell happened?"

"They can't be, they went bad and were destroyed," Cas insisted.

"Well obviously not," Sam deadpanned.

Dean whisper shouted, "Where'd he go?"

All of them grew uneasy and darted back to Claire and Amelia.

"No!" Castiel yelled. Benny saw him run after the Grigori, holding a sword dripping with blood.

He went to Claire and Amelia while Dean, Cas, and Sam fought the bastard angel that had stabbed this poor girl’s mother. He wished there were something he could do, other than rip the pillow case from the pillow and apply pressure.

Glancing over at the fight, he saw Sam holding the Grigori's arms, while Dean and Cas struggled with him. He threw Sam off, and before he could kill Castiel, the sword made its way through the front of his chest. Benny had to close his eyes, the light was so bright. When it vanished, Claire was holding the sword. She ran back to Amelia and cried, "Mom! No! No! Mom!"

Benny stepped away, giving the poor girl her space to grieve.

  


"I'm sorry I set you up," Claire's apology was genuine, the next morning while waiting for a cab.

"It's in the past. But you head down this road," he nudged at her bag, indicating he knew she took the Grigori sword, "It's not gonna be a long life."

"I don't know, you seem pretty old."

"Thanks," Castiel quietly replied, but didn't argue.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked him.

"I don't know," because he really didn't.

"Keep an eye on him, he's been through enough," she glanced at Cas.

"So have you," and he meant it. It hurt him, knowing the path her life had taken, "we're here for you, anytime. Call us, alright?"

She nodded, hugged Cas, and got in the cab.

Cas walked up beside him and said, "Someone just tell me she's gonna be okay."

"She'll be okay. Jody's got her back."

Hours later when they schlepped back into the bunker, Benny bemoaned having to sleep and pee. The guy looked exhausted and headed off to his room. Dean laughed to himself, remembering the brief time Cas was human and made the same complaints.

In Dean's room, Cas followed him in as he plunked down on his bed. Him wanting to talk made him feel good.

"I'm not her dad, but I feel much responsibility for her current situation. If she really were my daughter, I'd be proud of her," Cas vented.

"You don't have to be someone's parent to be proud of them, Cas. And you should be, she's strong."

Cas sat down beside him at the foot of his bed. It made Dean feel warm, deep inside. Maybe now was a good time.

"Thank you for helping me with her."

The sincere gratitude in Cas's words and eyes, beaming at him, had Dean wanting to melt in his arms. He didn't want to look away and break the eye contact. Tired of holding his feelings back, he began. "I like helping you,Cas. You've helped us so many times, it feels good that we could do something for you."

The look of..love? Shining back at him from Cas was incredible. He was beat from their trip, but would run a marathon if Cas would just keep looking at him like that. He leaned in closer, and-

"Hey guys, think I might have some puzzle pieces to why Dean was able to bring Benny back from Purgatory," Sam animatedly announced, walking into the room.

All Dean could think was, "Of course you do Sam, of course."


	4. Dark Dynasty

"Dean, you're afflicted more than you realize. I don't need context; both times I've crossed unexpected paths with you, you're in some serious trouble, and the angel's gone!"

Cas took a deep breath in preparation for letting Benny have it, but his cell phone rang instead.

"Cas, I need you to get someone for me," Sam's voice stated on the other end of the phone line.

Things were not going well. He and Benny were at each other's throats, again.

"Och! I thought I was clear, Samuel. I need more time, not viciously chained up and stuck with an assistant!" Cas heard the trademark Falkirk fury of the witch.

"Now's not a fortuitous time, Sam. I thought you were grocery shopping, not with R-"

"Don't say her name, Cas! Dean doesn't know I have her!"

Great, the secret game again. "Keeping things doesn't usually end well for the two of you."

"Just listen, alright?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Where are you?"

"In the basement. But she's not able to decipher the Book's code even though I've given her the codex," Sam explained.

"How does a tool specifically designed to break the Book of the Damned's cipher text not work? Did you break it?" Cas was exasperated with the breathtaking amount of bad luck they were all having with this accursed monograph.

"It's sort of encoded, too. I need you to meet Charlie at the address I'm sending you. I'd do it but, kinda got a crafty bunker exit and transport to pull off first."

Cas did not want to leave in the middle of this argument continuing over his shoulder between he and Benny, who was growling about him to Dean. But if it helped crack the code, there was nothing for it but to leave and do what Sam asked. The frustrating bit was, in doing so, it was proving the very point of which Benny was making. When things got tough- Cas bailed on Dean.

He flipped his phone closed and made a show of needing to follow up on Sam's request. "Sam's found someone in possession of a few old papyrus scrolls mentioning the Mark. He thinks if I can track them down it may give us more information."

Dean looked confused. "And he had this revelation at the supermarket?"

"Apparently. As much as I'd love to stay and pointlessly argue.." Cas knew Benny wouldn't let this go, and braced for impact.

"Ain't that convenient. It's like I said, temperature turns up and Hot Wings flies the coop."

"Benjamin, there are other things I could be doing, like catching the bastard that stole my grace-"

"It's always about you, isn't it?"

"He's the same bastard who murdered Dean!"

"And where were you when that happened? Off guarding guinea pigs?!" Benny accused.

Sometimes Cas wanted to smite his pompous ass into oblivion, but he actually felt how much he meant to Dean, and couldn't bear to be the cause of so much pain for the man he loved so much.

Turning to Dean, he said the most truthful thing he could think of. "I don't understand the appeal of his presence."

"Cas..will you just..call me? Please? Text me. Anything, alright?" Dean pleaded.

"Yes." As he left the two behind him, he could hear Dean defending the situation of which Benny wasn't fully aware of, and him.

Cas hurt that Dean felt compelled to defend any choices he made, especially in regards to the company he kept and the people he loved. But right now, saving him from the accursed Mark was more important.

"Benny, I know this is hard to get. But you don't have the whole story, man."

"I'm all ears, Chief. You and Sam don't often dredge up past things which set ya back. Things that cut right down to the quick- and don't tell me it's not that bad, cause the bad you carry won't go away until you set it free. Seems to me if family ain't the right people to do that with, then friends. So what's it gonna be? Not like I've got a normal nine to five to run off to, or family calling my name."

Dean wanted to bury himself alive under research, wish it all away. But that was kind of hard when put on the spot like that by someone who knew you better than you knew yourself. Especially as fast as Benny had.

"Cas was tricked into giving up his grace, by another angel who pitched the whole 'let's make heaven great again’ speech. Heaven opened, dropping angels all over the earth. Some minus the best intentions. That caused problems. In the effort to clean up his mess, he and Sam wonder twinned, tried using spells and grace to fix things. Important things. Meanwhile, I did what I had to, to keep Abaddon from causing End-of-the- world numero who-the-hell's-keeping-count-at-this-point."

Benny looked like Rusty Griswold, who'd just been handed a giant ball of Christmas lights to detangle.

"Point is, Cas and Sam were trying to clean up one mess while I was trying to fix one. The Mark happened. They were just as pissed with me as you are. But they're my family. They care. Just try and trust that if what they do is good enough for me, it should be good enough for anybody."

Benny didn’t look convinced, but he looked far less irate than before. "Why don't you blow off some steam in the gym. Wouldn't want ya getting soft just cause someone isn't trying to kill you every second.."

Benny gifted him a beautiful hug. "Fair enough for now."

After Dean got Benny all set up in the gym, he had to shower. Seeing that Cajun man meat in action got him all hot and bothered, so a shower solo act was all he needed to feel right as rain and get back to research.

Sam had finally come home from the store, and meandered in looking like hell.

"Wow, you look like crap on toast," Dean commented.

Sam's head dipped, Dean vaguely entertained the notion it looked like he'd done so in shame.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately. But what're you doing?"

"So, those goons that were after the book, the, uh, the Stynes, well, the one that we killed said that he had a big family. Some in Omaha. So if there's more out there, I figure we should probably get to know as much as we can about them," Dean calmly elaborated.

"And?"

"I think I caught us a case. There's a mention online of a murder in Omaha. Victim's eyes were cut out. Janitor runs in just as the killer jumps out the window on the third story. Look, man, I'm just trying to stay busy here, okay? Unless you have bigger fish to fry."

Sam agreed, "No I'm in. Let's do this."

"We'll leave first thing in the a.m."

The next morning Cas still hadn't returned, to Dean's disappointment. He called him to check up before leaving.

"I got a lead on Metatron, and I can't leave or it'll run cold," Cas updated.

"Did you find the pages Sam thought would help at least?" Dean hoped his leaving wasn't an entire waste.

"I did, and I'll bring them as soon as I figure out this Metatron situation. I wish I could be there with you."

And Dean really hoped he did. Lately things had felt like a whirlwind, what with Benny's return, Claire's disaster, and now this. He desperately wanted everyone home.

Sam had said he'd found information indicating the Mark wasn't only a curse, but that it amplified traits of the person it was passed on to. Did this mean he had naturally violent traits that the Mark made worse? Or something else? Sam was optimistic it could mean other traits, and if so, Dean wanted to know what they were and how they were responsible for bringing Benny back.

Dean appreciated that the office manager of the building was pretty helpful. He was already pulling up various forms of surveillance.

"Security footage?" Dean asked.

Benny draped in a three piece suit, FBI navy blue complete with a waistcoat, made Dean downright thirsty. But he favored his friend any day in a henley and a pair of relaxed fit Levis, because it left him wanting to just hug him. Cuddle him. Then kiss him, deeply. Aaaannd that's when he needed to stop that train of thought.

"Yeah, sure. That's the guy who rented the office," the guy pointed out.

Dean was shocked at what he saw. "That's pretty slick for a three-story drop. Can you zoom in, riiight there."

Benny leaned forward, getting a closer look.. "That the same ink as the Stynes?"

"Sure looks like it," Dean confirmed.

The officer explained, "He rented for clinical trials, using students. Didn't mention eyeballs though."

Sam's phone rang, and Dean wondered why his brother was suddenly so popular as of late. He waved it off as a 'telemarketer,' but seemed kind of flustered for a blatant 'ignore'.

"Hm. Well, I guess you're gonna ask about that from now on, huh?" Dean snarked.

The guy looked like he was turning green. Quickly, Benny redirected the convo and slid the guy their number. "Listen, you, uh, remember anything else, give us a call."

Back in Baby, Sam wondered, "So, why would the Stynes be actually up to their eyeballs in murder? What's the connection?

"Well, when you take a few Stynes down, more pop up. They're like a nest of cockroaches."

From the backseat, Benny piped up with, "How many are there?"

Sam shook his head. "Wish we knew. If it's only one killer and we get him, then fine. But not knowing how many family members are out there, looking for revenge, it's..gonna be dicey."

"All I can say is, I'm glad we burned that damn book. At least they can't get their mitts on that," Dean said with relief.

"Yeah. Uh, what about you? How are you doing?" Sam prompted with concern.

"Oh, you mean the thing?" Dean was so tired of talking about it.

"Yeah."

Dean decided to employ his standard conversational evasive maneuver. "You know, some dark thoughts, creepy visions, violent urges. Same old, same old. I'm happy I got a murder to focus on, though."

The ride home was long but calm. Dean was grateful he was the driver, because if he were riding shotgun, there'd be nothing keeping him from fantasizing about helping Benny out of his detective duds. The last thing he needed was to sit there for seven hours plus with a raging boner.

The next day Dean wandered into the library ready for more research, but heard Sam's phone on the table vibrating. Dean answered when seeing that it was Cas calling. His heart skipped a beat before a pang of discomfort hit. Why was he calling Sam and not him?

"Cas?"

"Sam," Cas stated.

"No, it's Dean. What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm just, uh . . . Just staying in touch. Like I do."

Dean wondered why this was suddenly uncomfortable. And weird.

"Something on your mind?"

"No. This call is pointless. My ride's here."

He couldn't put his finger on why he felt thrown when Cas unceremoniously hung up, but he put the phone back on the table and when Sam wandered in seconds later, he wasn't inclined to mention Cas had called.

"Hey."

"Hey, uh, you talk to . . . talk to Cas recently?"

"No. Um, not for a while. Why?"

"I was just wondering what he's up to. He's got to be up to something, right?"

"Yeah. Angel stuff or . . . I don't know, didn't you say he caught a lead on Metatron?"

"Yeah, that's what he said." Dean's stomach decided to speak up for itself and growled hungrily.

Sam raised his eyebrows and stated, "I vote for pizza."

Dean decided to take Benny with him for the pie pick up. He wasn't being clingy because he'd murdered Benny, albeit with permission, and thought he'd never see him again. Nope. He just wanted more "brutha" time with his friend. Yep.

They were in the middle of a rousing, yet respectful argument about the Saints and Cowboys when Dean parked in the alley of the pizza place and went in to retrieve dinner. Happily holding a box and closer to eating than he was before, he returned to the alley but was intentionally blocked by two cars.

He was sooo not in the mood for whatever clusterfuck of the week was about to happen. Setting down the box of precious pie, he prepared to demonstrate what one deserves when getting in between a piranha and its pizza. As one Eldon Styne emerged from a car, another Styne cockroach skittered out from the second. Benny was immediately out of Baby and had his back.

"All right, hold it right there. Hey. Hold it. I said, hold it," Dean ordered.

And just like that, Dean was brought back to Purgatory, when he and Benny moved with the synchronicity of a single warrior. Cockroach Styne moved for Dean first and met the sharp end of his bowie knife. Simple enough. When he turned around, Benny was sporting a bloody lip and a devilish grin for Dean while restraining a thoroughly livid Eldon.

"Ain't this just a walk down memory lane, Chief? You, me, and a couple of monsters between us."

Dean would be lying through his teeth if he said the tussle didn't get his blood pumping in all the right ways. They threw Eldon's pick-and-pull ass in the trunk and headed for home sweet bunker. Upon arrival they dragged him through the side entrance and trussed him up properly with one armed chained to the ceiling.

Dean led the interrogation with, "Here's how this works. You're strong. I'll give you that. But you can bleed and hurt just like the next guy, so I'm gonna ask questions, you're gonna give answers, or it's gonna get crazy real quick."

With an iron confidence Eldon replied, "Well, I hope you got some time. I'm not the usual breed of cat."

Benny promised him, "Neither are we. Did you kill that girl in Omaha?"

Eldon smugly admitted, "Yeah," but something on Dean caught his attention and he changed the subject. "So, it's true. You have the Mark of Cain. My sympathies. That’s why you wanted the book. To remove it."

Dean's tone darkened in simmering anger.. "We wanted the book because that's where your power comes from. See, our family business is putting guys like you _out_ of business."

Eldon calmly smiled, "Oh. It's impressive. Let me tell you about my family business. You're in way over your heads. Our power doesn't come from the book, but from intelligence and will. The book facilitates. Stock market dive, recession, 9/11, any of them ring a bell?" The guy didn't even break a sweat.

Benny circled him. "Why?"

Eldon played the game with a silver tongue. "Well, you got to be in it to win it, boys. You see, chaos breeds fear. Fear breeds panic, and panic breeds desperation, and there's always profit to be made from desperation. We've been in the fix-it business for a thousand years. Business has never been better. For the last eighty years, we haven't had the book. With it, we're unstoppable."

Dean wanted to know what the connection was between the Book and body parts. "The girl you killed, why take her eyes?"

"It's a family specialty, bioengineering. Surgical enhancement. And I'm not talking about nose jobs. See?"

Eldon used his free hand to lift his shirt, revealing an angry looking surgical scar running down his chest.

"Two hearts in here. Bunch of extra muscle, especially in the legs. Every man in the family's had a little something."

He didn't know why he was verifying but did it anyways. "The Stynes?"

"The name was altered out of necessity. You have chanced upon a lineage with a long and proud tradition, plus some unwanted notoriety. One of Europe's oldest families.

This guy's lost his damn mind. Dean explained to the blinking neon 51/50 that, "Frankenstein's aren't real. They're made up."

"What we are is expendable. I go down, there's an army of replacements behind me."

Benny was getting just as fed up as he was. Cutting to the chase he asked, "And just where does this army call home, hm? Who's big Daddy Frankenstein?"

Eldon grinned, "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?"

"I'm swell at uncovering secrets," Dean crept forward in a threatening manner.

"You give me the book, and it's conceivable that we could have a conversation," Eldon slightly proposed.

"We don't have the book, it was burned," Dean delivered, waiting for his reaction.

With more resolution in his eyes than Dean was comfortable with, Eldon declared, "The book's protected by a spell. It's eternal. It cannot be destroyed."

Dean looked at Benny, who was already looking back at him with confusion. Shit.

"Get comfy, we'll be right back," Dean sarcastically invited, while leaving the room with Benny.

When they reached the library, Sam was speaking with intensity to someone on the phone. "Look, Cas, I got to get back. Handle this. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Alright, something was up with these two. Both Sam and Cas had been acting out of the ordinary. "What are you doing?"

"Uh . . . Something came up," Sam said with discomfort, "But it's handled. Uh, what took you guys so long? Where's the pizza?"

Ignoring the question of food, Dean decided a direct approach was best. "Let me ask you something."

"Uh..okay."

Everyone heard the sound of a heavy door slamming from the dungeon hallway. They all ran to the dungeon and spotted a trail of blood running out of the room. Inside the room was Eldon’s arm hanging from the chains.

All of them spread out in search of Eldon within the Bunker. Dean booked it to the garage and searched all the cars. Nothing was out of place, so when coming down the stairs Sam looked up and asked, "Hey. Any sign of him?"

Benny entered and said, "Lot of signs, just no him."

Dean added, "He sure must have thought he was gonna win that one, 'cause, phew, was he gabby."

Sam volunteered, "It''s just like Eldon said. I mean, a thousand years of nasty. They made a ton mopping up the black plague. They started the hundred years’ war."

Dean desperately hoped his nagging intuition was wrong. "You know, I thought, 'man, there's a lot of them Stynes’. And then I thought, ‘at least they don't have the damn book.'"

Sam agreed, "Yeah. Yeah."

Dean's sneaking suspicion about Sam and an underhanded side project had grown stronger; the ensuing ulcer-like sensation from nerves ate at his stomach lining.

"At least the damn book burned. Right, Sam? But then, Eldon says the book can't be destroyed. Can't be sliced, diced, shredded, burned, drowned. _Cannot_ be destroyed. Ain't that crazy? Because, I know I saw something burn."

When Sam's phone rang, Dean was ready to levitate with anger. "Sam, you answer that, so help me.."

"Hey," Sam answered, wearing extreme discomfort on his face. "Who's gone?"

_Oh, this sounds real good._

"Sam, who's gone?" Benny prompted after he hung up.

With his head in his hands, Sam answered with deep regret, "Charlie."

Dean's rage ignited. "You got Charlie involved with this again, and now she's missing?!"

Sam’s phone buzzed again and when picking it up, Dean heard, "Charlie, where are you?'  
If you have the book, give it to them."

"Charlie has the damn Book of the Damned?!" Dean yelled at him, while Sam replied to whatever she'd told him.

"Then give them your notes, Charlie! Give them the code, whatever they want!"

As Dean snatched Sam's phone out of his hand, he felt the warm pressure of a calming hand on his back from Benny. "Charlie, I don't know what the hell is going on, but give whoever that is whatever they want. You understand? Charlie?!"

He could hear the stress in her voice. She was terrified, but doing what she could to remain cool and finish something.. "I can't do that, Dean. I'm sending my notes in an email to Sam."

The line went dead. Dean flung the phone against the wall, shattering it. He grabbed the keys, and could hear Sam and Benny following him to the car in a mad dash to help her. In the car he called Cas, then unleashed his fury on him.

"Cas, I know everything and you need to listen to me! Forget about the Book and Rowena, use whatever mojo you have to dial in on Charlie. We can find the wicked bitch later, just find Charlie and get to her now!"

The second he hung up with Cas he tore into Sam.

"So, you had the book the whole time? You lied right to my face."

He could see Benny in the rear view mirror, his face was zipping back and forth between him and Sam. It was hard to tell what was going on in his head, but the subtle weight of Benny's fingers against his neck, rubbing lightly, was about the only thing keeping him from going nuclear.

"I thought it was our only chance to get you free of the Mark, so I grabbed it," Sam defended, as if the effort was justified, regardless of if Charlie lived or not.

"I made it real clear how I felt. And then you pulled Cas into it. And Charlie," Dean could barely get her name out, he was so angry and afraid for her. He hoped to hell his angel could get to her in time.

"Charlie loves you, Dean. We all love you."

"AND I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE IT, DIDN'T I?!?! Doesn't matter how much she cares if it gets her dead! Kevin cared! Does that mean he deserved to die, because I couldn't let you go?! You still blame yourself, but it was my choice that got him dead. How many more people we love have to die for the shit we get ourselves into? I asked you to let the Book go so we wouldn't be in the exact same situation again!"

He felt as if an aneurysm could come on at any moment, but then Cas called back.

"Dean, I got here as Eldon was trying to kill her, she's been stabbed and bleeding heavily. I've done what I can but am taking her to the hospital now, here's the address."

Dean pasted the address into his maps app and flipped a bitch to correction course.

"Dean, how bad is it?" Benny softly asked.

"It ain't good. Eldon hurt her, Cas is taking her in."

"And Eldon?"

"Didn't say."

Benny noted Sam was silent and remained so. He'd turned a pale green. Conflict pulsed through him, as he ran his fingers along Dean's neck, hoping to calm him and convey his silent support for the situation.

Part of him was furious with Sam for lying and involving other people in their mess. But on the other hand, he understood their desperation to save Dean. He was a stubborn, infuriating man with a heart so full of love Benny thought it might burst. He deserved to have people who loved him back moving the entire universe to save him.

When they arrived at the hospital, Cas was in the waiting room and explained Charlie was in surgery.Dean seemed to be bubbling over with inner conflict in regards to Cas. He paced, and every time he passed the angel, Benny observed twitching in his arms like he wanted to hug him or reassure him he didn't blame Cas for what happened to their friend. Yet, he also appeared betrayed.

"Let's get you some coffee or something, Dean," Benny finally suggested after over an hour had passed since their arrival, and they'd had no news.

"Yeah, or something." Dean didn't really pay attention to where they were walking, but ambled beside Benny, willingly led to wherever.

After getting two of the shittiest coffees imaginable, Benny brought him out to the cafe patio overlooking the garden. It'd stopped raining and felt surprisingly humid. He let Dean sit in silence, their history dictated Benny's presence was invitation enough to spill if it suited him. Or not. He never pressured. The night was quiet. All that broke its stillness was an ambulance pulling into the bay with its lights going, but no siren.

Benny sensed something dark in him. Something which festered like an open wound that never properly healed. He didn't know anymore if it was the trauma of Dean's past rearing its ugly head, or this curse of a Mark poking at said trauma. But him putting space between Dean and the conspirators just now only served as a pause on what was simmering below the surface.

Benny knew the good soul he was. Craved to comfort both it and him in every way he'd let him. Even without his vampire senses, he could swear Dean longed for him in the same way, yet was unable to reach beyond something within himself to act on it. He also wasn't born yesterday, and knew Dean was all kinds of lost in love with Castiel. It'd been crystal clear from the moment they'd met from that indomitable drive to find him. Benny knew who he wanted Dean to choose, but that choice wasn't up to him. The pain of losing him to Cas would be something he'd live with for the rest of his days, but losing him altogether because he couldn't accept Cas _would not happen_. Not on his end, anyways.

Dean spoke of his history with the angel back in Purgatory. It wasn't the full history, it lacked detail, and Benny knew that. He wanted to hear it and he didn't. But for the long haul, regardless of its nature with Dean, it would be necessary if he was to remain someone who Dean wanted in his life. To better understand him and his relationship with Cas.

"I'm sorry you've been dragged through this, Benny. Me and Sam are kind of a package deal, nightmares, scars, and all."

"You've got nothing to apologize for. If I wanted another go at this somewhere else I coulda been long gone by now. Didn't work too well last time, and I wouldn't change a thing..but something keeps pulling us back together. Only way to make it work is choosing to stay. Choosing each other. Burnt edges and all. But what about you and Cas isn't a package deal?"

"He's family too. Maybe someday, once he gets his mess picked up and his mojo from Metadouche he'll come home for good, even if I'm not there to see it. Right now I'm too pissed to think about it. Was hoping Sam would learn from my mistake. Charlie shouldn't be collateral in this."

"It's never a mistake, trying to save someone you love, Dean." Benny couldn't stand the thought of him thinking his love for Sam, or anyone's love for Dean meant so little that it was wrong.

The sharp, painful reaction had him now realizing he'd taken Dean's hand in his. "I have my issues with your brother and Castiel. Maybe they could've done this differently. Their love for ya is something mighty fierce.. for once, I understand them."

Dean seemed to struggle processing that. The look of disbelief on his face shattered Benny's heart and in a knee jerk reaction he leaned forward, his instinct driving him to show Dean just how fiercely he was loved, by him anyways, when just before he tilted his head to kiss him another ambulance pulled in and blipped its siren. Each jumped back, startled.

Before either could recalibrate, Cas stepped outside with an update. "Charlie's out of surgery. She has a delicate recovery ahead. I'll do what I can for her."

To Benny, the relief and relaxation in Dean's whole body was everything.


	5. The Prisoner

Cas was back to babysitting the witch. This is what his existence had come to. He would so much rather be with Dean, but as soon as Charlie was out of the woods he'd had to run back to verify Rowena was still properly restrained.

Dean had hardly been able to look him in the eye, he was so hurt and disappointed. Then when he'd updated him about Charlie and found him with Benny at the hospital Cafe, something about the way they were standing so closely unsettled Cas. He wasn't sure what kind of conversation he'd interrupted, but it made him feel sick, like walking in on an intensely personal moment. He just wanted to talk with him so badly, but it would have to wait. Especially because the witch was giving him some kind of eye, he couldn't be sure wasn't a hex or curse or something.

"Stop looking at me."

"I'm sorry. You're just fascinating. An angel that rejected Heaven. That's like a fish that wants to fly, or a dog that thinks he's people."

"Well, I'm a lot like people." How was he not like people? Angels and humans were vastly different, but still shared alarmingly similar thought processes, or at least he did anyways.

No wonder Charlie felt the need to flee. He wasn't working on anything requiring major concentration, and yet the incessant verbal clawing by this woman was severely grating on him. Sam walked in and he was immensely grateful.

"I'm shutting this down, I promised Dean—"

"Er, hello? Anyone want to tell me what's going on?"

Rowena's overly exaggerated reaction irritated him enough that he now understood why humans contended with things like blood pressure.

Cas felt zero need to sugar coat it. "Charlie couldn't stand you and left."

Then he told Sam, "I'll go after Dean."

"What about her?" Sam pointed to the witch.

"I'd be happy to kill her, she just called me a fish."

"No." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly stressed out. "And we should be able to track him. I lowjacked the Impala a few weeks back, just in case. Here.

Sam showed him his phone and a map with a flashing dot. "This shows where he is."

An email notification from Charlie suddenly popped up on the screen. Sam clicked it open and it said, "Sam, can't talk now. Download this file!"

He did and showed the file to Rowena, asking, "Is this what I think it is?"

She maniacally issued, "Oh, that little minx. She's cracked the code."

"Can you read the Book of the Damned with this?"

"Every last word."

Castiel tried to curb his enthusiasm and hope, but Sam looked at him with just that, hope. He didn't have the heart to dampen it.

"We can cure the Mark of Cain," Rowena assuredly declared.

"Cas, go. Make sure he doesn't go too far off the reservation," Sam suddenly dismissed him.

"What are you doing?" Cas wanted to know.

"I'm saving my brother."

"You told Dean—"

"—I know what I told Dean. Cas, look. I've been the one out there, messed up and scared. And alone. And Dean—"

"He did whatever he could to save you."

"Yes. I mean, it's become his thing. I owe him this. I owe him everything. Look I know he pretends he can ride the Mark out, but you and I know the truth. We know what happens if we don't cure him."

"Black eyes and blood."

"Cas. Keep him safe," Sam begged.

As Cas gathered his things he overheard part of the discussion which followed.

"Oooh, I do love a bit of intrigue."

Sam growled, "Less talk, more translating. Go."

"About that. I said I can read the book, never said I would."

"We had a deal."

"We did, we do. And it's time you held up your end. I want my son dead."

Sam slammed his hand angrily on the table. "I'll hold my end of the bargain. Just focus on yours!"

Cas really didn't want to hear what Sam's part was, and left.

It was about noon when they pulled up to a run-of-the-mill intersection in Shreveport. Benny had made Dean's every move his personal business without making it obscenely obvious, so when asking where he was headed at the butt crack of dawn and got an honest answer- "Time to end a dynasty," he was pleased that riding shotgun came without a fuss. With almost losing this poor girl Charlie to Eldon and this monster mash of a family, he'd no problem letting Dean off leash under supervision.

Dean turned a corner and a cop's kojaks and siren blared behind him. Benny thought it odd how quiet he was about getting pulled over.

"What's the problem, officer?" Dean asked calmly.

"License and reg."

Dean shrugged and handed both over with zero issue.

"Ashley J. Williams, huh?" The officer asked with a tone Benny was unsure of.

"You can call me Ash."

"Out of the car, Ashley."

Aw shit, Benny thought, but kept it to himself as he watched Dean climb out of Baby.

"Well I wasn't speeding, I'm mostly sober, so what's this about?"

"Blinker's out," said another officer loitering behind Baby. With his nightstick he smashed the Impala's right-side taillight.

Benny closed his eyes, knowing this was not gonna end well. For the officers.

"Hey!" Dean barked, instantly white hot furious.

"That's a violation," the first officer informed, with a hint of pleasure rippling through his voice.

Benny cringed watching Officer numero dos taking another swing, and stepped out of the car.

"Two lights out."

"Son of a bitch!" Dean screamed as he bolted for Officer dos, knocking his ass to the ground. The officer's head hit Baby's mirror on the way down, dazing him enough for Dean to really do some damage with his fists.

Officer numero uno tried running to his partner, but Benny stepped in his way and got a few good jabs in and an uppercut, before the guy pulled his city issued side arm out and yelled, "Freeze!"

He was no longer a bullet proof vamp. The blood violently coursing through his veins reminded him of that fact with breathtaking adrenaline. Dean was still beating the officer, and Benny feared he'd killed him.

"Dean!! He's got a gun on me, stop!"

Dean went still as a statue. It should not have pleased Benny as much as it did, knowing that even in Mark mode, he had the wherewithal to stop because he was in danger. But now, they both were, because these were not only cops, but dirty, pissed off ones, and when more found out...well that didn't bode too well for either of them.

The first officer started making his way over to Dean and said, "Attempted murder of a police officer. Looks like we're taking you down to the station, boy."

Dean replied while looking right at Benny, with a determination that tipped him off he had a plan. One that never included going into any station. "Oh, I ain't your boy, Cletus."

The smug officer whipped out those handcuffs thinking he had the advantage. "Right now you are, so you best settle. Or you're gonna get an ass-whuppin', instead of a phone call."

But as soon as he started putting them on Dean, Benny tensed. Anticipating Dean's turning elbow, he waited for the guy’s nose to crack and then quicker than lightning, grabbed his gun. The officer hadn't even righted himself yet from dropping on the ground cold when Dean about-faced, then kicked him in the mug with his boot. Benny's heart was racing with how off he was, and how calm. Their escape was easy peasy.

They crept onto the Styne estate at night. Benny had Dean's back, but he hardly needed it with how he flitted through the property, taking the guards out like he was Predator. Maybe it was Benny seeing him through his own, still-new, human vulnerability. Or maybe he was finally getting a real taste of what this curse was doing to him. But this wasn't the Dean he knew and loved beyond reason. This was a stone cold killer with extra strength and speed, who went through people like a Sunday walk in the park, breaking necks, arms, faces, and taking names.

Benny had hardly raised a finger by the time he'd caught up with the sick bastard Eldon in some operating room. The way Dean moved was nearly inhuman, and it was only escalating by the second. Both had taken firearms off of others Dean had dispatched, but the startling thing was that neither he, nor Dean even needed them.

He watched as Dean choked the life out of Monroe. Watched him struggle, as if someone were still alive to save him.

Dean seethed, "You took something from me. Now I'm gonna take everything from you."

Benny heard with guttural heartbreak as Monroe's neck was snapped and his body dropped on the cold, hard floor. Nurses held syringes in self defense. No sooner had Benny blinked than Dean lost it, and began throwing them around. He didn't know if Dean was even seeing the same thing he was seeing anymore. His eyes were still human, but he'd no idea where he was, as if in some mad dog trance.

Dean was tossing the nurses around while they screamed and hit the wall like rag dolls. Benny couldn't take it anymore, he was really losing Dean to this curse, and he was afraid if he didn't pull him back now, nobody ever could.

"Dean, hold on now. Please, let's go. They just want to leave, don't ya?" He asked the women.

They nodded furiously, sniffling and crying.

"Were you here by choice?" Benny tried getting them to speak of what he already suspected.

They shook their heads, one of them informed, "He said he'd kill our families if we didn't help with his experiments."

"Ya see? Let's go Chief. You've done what you came here to do. Don't make me lose you too."

Dean's eyes were wild with anger and..pause. Benny saw the hesitation; he didn't know what to do or how to stop. So he'd remind him of what he had. What he'd always have. Crowding into his personal space, he held Dean's cheeks while a few tears escaped his own. "Come with me Dean, please. Let me show you the way back to yerself."

At first, Benny brushed his lip against his with a rough urgency, needing his attention. But Dean's lips were so very plump and warm he couldn't help but slow, so as to enjoy this moment he'd spent every second dreaming of back in Purgatory. He errantly motioned for the women to leave as soon as Dean let go of one of them, gripping Benny, kissing him back as if he were the last few drops of water to be had on earth. He heard Dean issue a gasp, then a quiet, high pitched moan like he'd burst into tears at any minute. He drank Benny's kisses like a summer rain upon a parched landscape.

Not wanting to continue this bliss among the slaughter, Benny reluctantly broke their kiss and made an enticing offer.

"Long drive home. How 'bout we get some place for the night, mm?"

Dean barely whispered, "Okay."

Finding a motel didn't take long. The second Dean brought their bags in and dumped them on the floor Benny tore off his bloodied flannel and black undershirt. Dean was trying to shimmy out of his jeans while Benny stripped down quicker than him, then dragged him up onto the bed, tucking his left arm underneath Dean's head, cradling him close and just kissing him for a while.

Dean's heart rate was all over the place, but Benny's even breathing gave him a pace to match. His hot breath, the languid brush of his lips, and gentle dance of his tongue twirling around Dean's had the power to calm his inner storm. He clung to Benny's solid form, finding the soothing warmth and wholesome, satisfying affection he'd always dreamed it would be. In many ways, the fantasy of it was the only thing that'd helped him emotionally survive Purgatory. Well, that and fantasizing about Cas too- this was so messed up but also felt so right, he needed to not think right then.

The steady, sure hands which had fought beside and defended him in that realm, now roamed over him, rubbing comfort itself into his skin, as if it were a medicinal balm that soaked into his very soul. They held him. Cherished him. Revered him. And never asked for anything in return save for his calm. His well being and pleasure. Benny didn't ask because he didn't need to. He knew what Dean needed in the moment.

His right hand slid down the tight, flat plain of Dean's stomach to his hard length, already leaking pools of precum around his belly button. Benny's growl was deep, but soft as he murmured against Dean's neck, "You need to come, and you're surely sufferin'."

Dean just leaned into his kisses more deeply, getting lost in the rhythmic, diligent push and pull of Benny's skilled hand. If the ex vampire was short on experience with men, he'd never know it. They both seemed beyond content with the turn in their relationship.

Dean snaked his hand south to reciprocate but never made it. "You'll get yer chance, Cher. Let me do this."

Benny kissed away his whiney objections, redirecting focus back to the subject at hand, or rather in his hand. Dean knew he wouldn't last long, it'd been ages since the last time he'd been laid, not to mention he was floating down from some seriously intense crap, and needed this release like he needed air. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been the lucky recipient of a simple hand job and kisses. Tactile, touch starved creature that he was, he adored it. His left hand flew up to hold Benny's, which had been lazily caressing his hair.

The muscles in his stomach began to twist and coil, Benny noticed, yet didn't change a thing. He was making it perfectly clear that although Dean might not last long, he'd make damn sure once that tidal wave started rolling through, it'd crest over like a slow and steady mega tsunami. He was going to draw it out for Dean, make it so intense he might pass out.

He was utterly transfixed by the way Benny's lips moved so sweetly against his own, by the time the initial lurch of that chain reaction started at the base of his spine and made its way slowly through his belly, his heels dug into the mattress, his toes curled. Dean was gasping and shouting into Benny's mouth while silent tears spilled from the corners of his eyes, as the flood of emotions burst from him like the hot white eruption surging onto his stomach and Benny's hand. Dean was unable to keep from violently twitching against his hand, which was still working him through every last pulse and tremor.

Benny kissed away the sweat dewing from his forehead, the tears upon his cheeks, and the racing of his pulse from his neck to chest. Continuing further south, every kiss was a cooling ointment to his scorched soul until he swallowed him down, mess and all, not caring in the slightest. Or maybe he had a cum kink, Dean didn't judge. But he was twitching all over again from over sensitivity.

"Hey, hey, hey..whaddya doin'?" He whispered when it became too much.

Benny placed soft kisses up and down Dean's extremely sensitive shaft. "All that rage isn't gonna disappear after just one round. I'm suckin' ya hard again, but carefully."

To demonstrate, he swirled his tongue delicately around Dean's still very swollen head and cautiously sealed his lips around it, sucking ever so lightly.

"Just work through it, that's it," Benny sang, looking up at Dean with so much love brimming in his eyes, it made him want to start bawling. He didn't deserve Benny's love or kindness. Not after the things he'd done.

"Promise I'll be gentle. Lay back, close your eyes now."

Dean did as he was told. He tried. He found himself trying less and less to push through the hypersensitivity thanks to Benny's due diligence. After a while he was past the twitching and lazily thrusting into Benny's mouth. Damn, it felt amazing. But that wasn't Benny's end game as he soon found out. Bestowing a parting kiss, the guy pulled off, crawling back up.

Dean happily absorbed his weight, letting him enjoy their physical closeness. Goddamn it, Benny was absolutely beautiful. The guy was solid, he wouldn't break. Dean adored grabbing handfuls of that hot bayou ass, squeezing and kneading, while countering the phenomenal slip and slide of his thick cock. And holy shit was Benny a good kisser; hell, a fantastic multitasker. Everything of his just felt so damn good.

All of a sudden he flipped them over so Dean was working them into a gradual frenzy at his own pace, which was still a slow, but solid build. He folded his knees under himself, so he was essentially straddling Benny and burying his face in the soft spot of his neck. He loved the crisp scent of an ocean breeze mixed with something Dean couldn't quite identify, but was reminiscent of delicious warmth and home. His beard was just the right balance of coarse and soft when gifting him endless kisses and whispers against his neck.

Benny's hand ghosted down his spine, his palm clutched at the thickness of Dean's plump cheeks, tugging them apart. He couldn't get enough of the delectable pressure, the slide and drag of their leaking dicks, but oh, he loved arching back into Benny's hand. He felt so needy and overwhelmed, but that precious southern drawl was right there in his ear, murmuring jolts of pleasure through him down into his right leg.

When Benny's fingers grazed the sensitive skin around his hole, he pressed in circles, stretching the sensitive opening. Dean pushed back into his hand, then thrust forward in a rhythm and pace which kept him suspended on that thrilling edge.

"Can ya come just from this?" Benny sweetly asked, brushing his lips against his temple while increasing the patterned pressure of his fingers.

This was such a heavenly agony, he was beside himself. Dean's hips slowly tilted back into Benny's hand, begging for more pressure. "Mhhmm."

"How long since someone took care of you, properly?" Benny inquired with both caution and care, lightly pressing against that sensitive opening to emphasize what he meant by 'properly.'

"Don't remember.' Honestly, he couldn't recall his last time with a guy who'd made him feel like he wasn't just some pretty, yet mindless lay. Years maybe. An old buddy named Lee had been his first, probably the only one who'd truly cared about him.

Benny held his cheek and looked right into his soul with those calming pools of blue. He pulled him in for a precious kiss; as he reached under the pillow beneath his head for something, he whispered with incredible tenderness, "Well, hop on then."

He didn't have to be told twice. Dean had gone from pitch darkness that day to light as a cloud. Benny was bathing him in his jovial, inner shine that made him feel..really and truly treasured. If he thought on it too much, he'd get all sappy, so he snatched the tiny bottle of lube from that beautiful Cajun bastard and enjoyed the glorious feeling of Benny in his hands, making him feel good.

The emotional glow Dean saw from him sparked a hint of tragedy and longing. He couldn't have this. He never got to keep something and someone this good. But dammit he'd enjoy it while he could, because Dean knew he was in love with Benny, and surely as the sun rose it felt like he loved him right back.

It was slow going at first, Benny's generous girth ensured it took several minutes for Dean to take him fully. The care and mischief in Benny's eyes sparkled all the more brightly once Dean began to tilt and circle his hips.

"Take your time. Been a while for me too. Relax, Dean. Work yourself on it and I'll take care of you."

The timbre and drawl of his voice had Dean melting like honey around him.

"Bein' human again, with you..there's nothing better than this."

Dean was too overcome with emotion from Benny's praise, and his gambit of ups and downs in general, to say anything back. He just got lost in what felt good with someone who cherished him to the moon and back.

  


He was being filled to the brim with love, physically and emotionally. Benny lended him another hand, another sensation to get lost in. The familiar pressure began building again. Benny's palms were all over his ass, pulling his hips forward for counter thrust, and he looked ready to explode any second. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed, blissing out just as much as Dean was.

"C'mon Chief, I know ya got another one in you." Benny's thrusts had him lightly bouncing in his lap, slowly circling, and grinding around Benny's cock. He was panting and sighing, if ever a vampire..ex vampire, appeared on the cusp of salvation, it was in this moment. Here with Dean.

He heard this beguiling southerner tense and cry out, then cling to him just as his second orgasm ripped through him. A blessed heat rushed out and through him, a whirlwind of love encircled and enveloped Dean. Benny was everywhere around him, his breath slowing, heart pounding, words of faith, hope, and home were a reverent ballad in his ears.

They took a shower and kissed half the night, loving the next level closeness. Benny sang him old, sacred treasures from the bayou and Dean fell asleep cradled by a man who knew his heart and loved it completely.

Cas took in the scene with horror. So many dead. He called Sam with shaky hands.

"Hey, Cas, did you find him?

"Not yet. But I'm at the Styne estate, Dean was here."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure.There are three bodies down here, and more than a dozen upstairs in the main house. He killed... he killed everyone. And brutally."

"Alright. I'm on my way."

"No. Don't bother, Sam. The GPS says he's headed North..Dean's coming home."

Hours and hours later when Cas pulled into the bunker garage, he got out of his car and heard the report of a gun. He ran inside and found Eldon and Cyrus Styne, dead on the library floor.

"Dean?" he asked, kneeling by the young man's body full of sorrow, "You killed him."

"I took down a monster. Because that's what I do. And I'll continue to do that until.."

"Until you become the monster, right? Sam and I were trying to cure you! We still are!" Cas defiantly promised.

"Like hell. Thanks, but I'm good." Dean turned to leave, but Cas grabbed his shoulder.

"No! You're not. You cannot fight it forever. Everyone you know, everyone you love... could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there's even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you walk out of this room.

Dean appeared so confident, yet at the same time terribly bitter. "Oh you think you have a choice. You're wrong."

Cas begged him, "Dean. I don't wanna have to hurt you."

Dean threw his hand off of his shoulder, then punched him hard in the face and he just kept going. Cas struggled to shield himself while not hurting Dean at the same time. He was thrown on the floor, but continued calling out his name in hopes he'd stop.

Dean began to get up. To walk away, but Cas had to stop him. Bruised and coughing up blood, Dean yanked him by his coat and grabbed his tie. Cas raised his hand to stop the downward thrust of his angel blade in Dean's hand.

"No, Dean. Please," he coughed again as more blood splattered out.

Dean's stare was as cold as the blade he'd death gripped in his hand. It went down, piercing a book inches from his face. In that moment, something snapped or broke, as if Dean had experienced a reset.

He trembled uncontrollably. "Cas?"

Cas was conscious, but he couldn't speak yet. Something had stolen his voice, whether or not it was shock, he was uncertain.

Dean's face was absolute horror as he yelled, "Cas! No..no.. Jesus, I'm so sorry!"

His hands flew to Cas, cradling his face, his cheeks, as he gasped over him. "What've I done!?"

Dean ripped open Cas's shirt to verify his heart still beat, that he still drew breath. He sensed relief bleeding through Dean like hot tea on a cold autumn night, when hearing shallow breathing and feeling small movements.

"It's alright..Dean. It wasn't you," Cas tried to soothe, gently patting his head.

It was right Cas felt the need to forgive him for this. It didn't matter that he was an angel and had enough mojo to heal. He'd hurt him, he could've killed him. And Cas allowed it, to the degree he'd defended himself and not fought back. Dean flinched away from the contact, like he didn't deserve the assurance because it wasn't okay. For surely In that moment, Cas surmised that for him, it felt like it never would be again.

He sat up and took a few seconds, then Dean helped him stand. "Shower. Now."

Cas was in no shape to argue, since he'd been beaten to a bloody pulp. He stripped to his boxers and got in the shower while Dean took the clothes to be washed.

Covered in soap and carefully washing his face, he heard the click of the shower door. He looked over at Dean who flinched at seeing him cautiously trying to wash the blood from his nose and mouth, and clean around his swollen face. He'd let this guilt fester and poison him if Cas couldn't pull him out if it. But he needed to finish cleaning up before considering anything else.

"Move your hands, just keep your eyes closed." Dean took the adjustable shower head and rinsed his face, careful not to touch him. Then quickly rinsed his own blood mess from his ears, hair, and hands. When the water ran cold, he switched it off and swiped the dead guy robes, as Dean had always called them. He gingerly wrapped Cas in his worn soft one, keeping the newer, more starchy and uncomfortable one for himself.

"Dump your boxers in there. I'll deal with them later," he pointed to the hamper in the corner, while shimmying out of his own wet underwear and grabbing the first aid kit.

He found what he needed from the kit, but stalled before looking at Cas and the damage he'd caused. Dean held a few sterile pads in his hand and a bottle of isopropyl in the other. Taking a deep breath, he looked up and lost his composure. Cas wondered how bad he must look, because Dean winced and cringed like someone had kicked him in the gut with a steel toe boot.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled to himself, dropping his head again along with the alcohol and sterile gauze on the counter, which was no longer sterile.

Cas lifted his hand and placed it on Dean's left shoulder, but he immediately flinched away.

"Dean, it's al-"

"Cas, if it's you say it's alright one more time I'm leaving. It's not okay! What I did to those men, Hell, what I just did to you…"

"We're working on it, Sam thinks we're close."

"What's the cost gonna be this time? If you hadn't gotten to Charlie when you did...I can't even think about losing her without getting sick. It's not worth losing anyone else. I'm not w-"

Cas grabbed the lapel of Dean's robe, pulling him flush against his body and kissing him like the world was going to end. His heart was flying a million miles a minute, all the longing of the last six years just exploded out of him. He couldn't fight it any longer, and kissed him back with all the love he had in his heart.

The kiss slowed and then broke when Cas professed, "Don't say it, Dean. Don't you ever finish that sentence, because if anyone in the world is worthy, it's you. Everything you've chosen to do, was out of love. Even the mistakes. You are the kindest man I will ever know. For once in your life will you let someone show you how much you're loved? How precious you are?" Cas implored him, looking like he might shatter if Dean said no.

Whatever they'd been fighting since their beginning had wedged itself in front of them and everything and everyone in their lives. It became the most important thing in that moment. Nearly everything was left on the bathroom counter while they tried making their way down the hall into Cas's room, staying liplocked.

They bounced and bumped along the walls in the hallway while moving to Cas's room. Once inside, their robes dropped to the floor and they fell onto the bed, a tangle of arms and legs, desperately grasping at each other, to pull the other in impossibly closer. Dean was exceptionally careful with him, mindful of the wounds he’d inflicted which hadn't already healed. The splits on Castiel's lips were mended, and yet Dean's reverent kisses soothed and rejuvenated his grace. How he'd longed for this, pined for this human soul, to meld the essence of who each were into one.

Cas knew Dean was trying to exercise caution, so to let him know he was alright, he rolled onto him, enveloping him in his warmth. Dean smelled of wind and adventure from the open road, heartache, and the purest love in all the universe, with a hint of whiskey and self deprecation. Castiel kissed all of the hardships and sadness away, revelling in the peace it brought, even if for a brief time.

They moved together; Cas in awe of Dean's beauty and strength. His muscles which held him close, his warm, freckled skin, the soft sighs of overwhelming ecstasy falling from his lips were Castiel's new heaven. He'd forsake the one God had created a million times to lay in the paradise of Dean's arms, and hear his name called out in passion prayer and reverence. The friction building between them, the sweet pressure from their slick cocks gliding together in a blissful rhythm came crashing down, as both groaned into each other's mouths then kissed through the aftershocks.

This is how his first time should've been. He decided to forget what happened before, this slice of heaven was all he cared to remember and all he'd ever want. And he loved that Dean absolutely would not stop kissing him. He was so good at it; at least Cas thought so, seeing as he had precious little basis for comparison.

Castiel found himself wanting more, but realized Dean might be done or need quite a while to recover. Maybe it was selfish, but Cas decided to relieve him of his refractory period and when kissing him, he delicately used his grace to stoke the fires back to their previous blaze.

"Not sure what it is about you Cas but, guess I just can't get enough of..this..us.." he murmured, nipping gently at Cas’s earlobe.

Feeling Dean reach between them, Cas used his grace to zap up the mess. While cautiously stroking them both, Dean began blessing him with sweet, wet kisses down his chest and stomach. Nudging Cas onto his side, he verified "You alright with this?"

"Yes," though his breath hitched as Dean's tongue flicked around the head of his cock, "I'm good with anything you'd like to do."

"There's a whole lot I've liked to have done with you over the years," Dean murmured before he took every inch of him in his mouth.

Cas wanted to hear and do every single thing Dean had fantasized about, as what he himself had dreamt of. "May I reciprocate?"

"Go right ahead." He rotated his feet and legs towards the head of the bed for Cas.

  


It can't get any better than this, Cas thought. The chance to show this kind of love and affection for Dean, and with him, even if he had little experience in the particular arena, was never something he'd imagined he'd have the chance to do.

He was surprised at how sensitive he was. Cas found it a balancing act to let go enough to enjoy the heat of Dean's mouth, but not so much that he came too quickly. And then there was how Dean reacted to him, learning what made him quiver and sigh in delight. His hips began a patterned thrust and Cas learned Dean loved his balls played with and massaged when he took his full length, relaxing his throat and squeezing a bit during those moments he was more still.

Cas heard Dean's uneven breathing and surmised he was close to another release, just as he was. It made him happy he could time them like this, so they reach that state of utter bliss simultaneously. Dean seemed skilled in his efforts and Cas wondered how much experience with men he'd had, and hoped they were good ones for him. In his hands, Dean's balls were swollen and began to tighten.

"C-Cas..m'close..you're so damn perfect."

He flushed hearing such a compliment from the man he loved beyond reason. It wasn't his vessel but he shied as if it were. Both were now doubled their efforts in their frenzy and Cas felt like he might cry because his emotions mixed with such glorious physical sensations were so intense.

Feeling Dean tense up just as his own orgasm crested and crashed over him, Cas came so hard his vision glitched out for a second through the blue lens of his grace illuminating everything in the room. His hands roamed over Dean's skin and felt goosebumps everywhere along with shivers that had more to do with the temperature than sensitivity and the afterpulses of his orgasm.

He swooped Dean in his arms and snuggled them onto the pillows. "I love you, Dean."

"Me too Cas. Sorry it took so long to get here but I've loved you for a long time."

Cas let that sink in for a while, letting his fingers ghost over the warming skin of his beloved who eventually fell into even breathing and adorable light snores.


	6. My Brothers Keeper

When Dean awakened the next morning in Cas's room, it was to an apology slash love note.

_Good Morning Dean,_

_Words fail me when attempting to express my gratitude for last night. Being with you was better than anything I could ever dream of and I hope you feel the same. It is for you, I've left (again my apologies) but Rowena has almost discovered how to cure you and is in need of assistance. My plan is to return as soon as possible._

_Remember- YOU are worth all of this and more._  
_~Castiel_

At least this time he left an expressive note. Yet, it was just as well, given the complicated thing with Benny and now Cas just hit him like a Mack truck. He'd been in as-close-to-heaven as he ever thought he'd get when first opening his eyes, realizing he wasn't in his own room.

But now, how on earth was he supposed to figure out what to do? Who to choose? And how was he gonna explain to the other poor bastard? Either way he was losing someone, and fuck did it HURT. Hell, they might both dump his ass when hearing he'd had sex with both, and he couldn't blame them.

"You gonna stare at the coffee, or drink it at some point?" Sam wondered, pointing at the untouched cup of coffee in front him.

When his brother had moseyed into the kitchen he'd had no idea, but Sam had called him out on leaving his brew to cool for at least half an hour, if not more.

"You seen Benny this morning?" Dean asked, ignoring the coffee question.

"Yeah. Guy was a ball of energy. Both of us walked in on the results of your home defense spree, and cleaned that up last night. Now he's in the gym pounding the treadmill, and eyeballing the weights like he's on some P90X program with unlimited energy."

Dean hoped it was because he was full of positive energy and not the pissed off kind. And he was surprised he hadn't even mentioned the kid he'd killed, but maybe he figured he was just as in on the security breach and attack as everyone else he’d done in. His attention was redirected to Sam snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Dude, what's with you this morning? You okay?"

"I don't know. Kind of a lot to process.." was all he was capable of muttering. He had no idea the tangled web he'd fallen into.

Sam looked at him with intense speculation, then suggested, "Shooting range?"

"Why not?"

After going through nearly a thousand rounds between them, Sam laid down his gun and grabbed their shell bag for clean up, when Dean made a decision. A huge one. He couldn't see past this, and hoped Sam would take what he had to say with the respect and weight it and he so desperately needed.

"Sam, I've got something I want to say."

He set down the bag and gave him his full attention. Dean was never so grateful for the soundproof walls they were encased within.

"I'm bisexual, always have been. But that's not what I'm having a hard time with…" he didn't have a fucking clue how to lay this out for him.

Sam didn't even miss a beat. "Kind of always suspected, but didn't want to put you on the spot like that. You're my brother, and I'm okay with whoever you want to date."

Dean's heart was in his throat; part of him knew Sam wouldn't take issue with it, but didn't mean it was easy to fess up about it, regardless. Actually, the part giving him grief was yet to come.

"Cool, cool….I'm in love with Cas and with Benny. Just had sex with them both, separately. Didn't plan on that happening either, but now I'm screwed with no clue how _not_ to hurt them both, choose which one, and that's if neither of them wise up and ghost me for what I've done."

Yep. That's where he lost Sam. Dean could see the gears shifting in his mind. The weight of the choice before him. How he'd fucked up.

Sammy exhaled hard and loud. It felt more like he was commiserating on some level rather than chewing his ass out like expected. "I've known about you and Cas since..forever. But Benny? Huh. ‘Kay. I know you don't like to talk about it, but if I confess something to you, maybe it'll have you considering a third option."

Dean didn't know what the heck option number three could possibly be, but listening was free so Sam could give him all the options, if they'd help him avoid hurting someone he loved.

"Back when I was dating Amelia and the husband she thought was dead came back from overseas, there was another option I wished I thought of."

"Which was…" he gestured for Sam to elaborate.

"Polyamory."

"Are you saying yer into dudes too?" Dean's understanding of Sam's intent went in about a dozen different directions.

"I'm saying if I'm attracted to someone, I wouldn't let gender hold me back from seeing how things play out. But this is your situation and not mine. Test the waters. Maybe you don't have to choose."

Dean just stared into space, trying to unwrap that piece of advice.

"Her husband didn't really seem the type to share, but who knows...not me. But just think about it, alright?"

"Alright."

"Good talk."

"Yep."

An hour later he was on the road, having found a case. He needed wide open spaces to figure this one out.

It'd been hours and hours since he'd left Dean resting cozy in his bed, and Cas was so torn between bailing on an exhausting Rowena to spend another night with Dean, and putting up with her incessant digging under his proverbial skin.

Thankfully Sam finally arrived, but he looked like an emotional train wreck. Overall, their negotiations with Rowena hadn't been going well.

"Hello, Sam. Just in time for tea --u-unless something on your mind?" she mused while sipping some shitty gas station Earl Grey out of a Styrofoam cup.

Cas grew anxious seeing Sam pulling a gun on Rowena; not that he'd mind if he did kill her.

"Five things, actually. Hollow tips filled with witch-killing brew."

Her smile was smug. "How exciting for you. Your NRA will be beside themselves with pride."

Sam barked, "No more games, Rowena. Do the spell now."

"Or what, exactly? Charlie may have cracked the codex, but who's going to read it if I'm gone? I know you're upset. We all are. Poor Dean. Let's just have a nice wee cup of tea... and negotiate."

Cas knew if Sam killed Rowena, Dean was as good as dead. Neither of them wanted that. He set the gun down in a huff and asked, "What do you want?"

"Let's talk about what I'll take -- my freedom guaranteed and the codex."

"Sam, you can't be --"

"Do you know which spell?"

"I do."

"Sam. This is a mistake."

Sam slammed the book down on the table in front of her, not giving a damn about it billowing dust in her face.

She gave him the evil eye and fanned it away. Cas knew she was faking it, and dramatically coughing. This wicked bitch of Oz was going to drive them both insane before they saved Dean.

“Sumsu mimma ezebu ilu ma ikkibu Lu." "S-something made by God, but forbidden to man."

"Forbidden?" Sam wondered to himself.

"The forbidden fruit?" Cas irritatedly asked.

"No," Sam huffed.

Cas saw Rowena shoot him a faux impressed smirk.

"The actual apple is the first ingredient?" Sam looked exasperated when looking back and forth from Cas to Rowena.

“Sumsu mimma ezebu Lu," Rowena corrected in a "no duh" tone of voice, "Something made by man, but forbidden by God."

Sam looked to Cas like he'd had a lightbulb moment, "Okay, well, God forbade false idols, right?"

Oh. But how were they even going to find, "The Golden Calf."

"Wasn't that destroyed?" Sam seemed confident.

Rowena ignored Sam and continued reading the mumbo jumbo. "Sumsu mimma sen arramu."

Sam's sarcasm was evident and Cas could so relate. "Great. What's the third ingredient?"

Rowena seemed to hit a snag. Oh..the third ingredient, it's impossible."

"What is it?" Sam voiced with a hint of panic as he was already answering his own question, "A sacrifice."

Cas's insides felt as if they were liquidating, it was a peculiar sensation he strongly disliked. Dean had repeatedly mentioned how removing the Mark, if it could be removed, would come at a price.

Rowena confirmed, "Precisely. The book will grant freedom from the curse, but it wants something in return. Bring me something I love, I'll kill it. I want my freedom too much to make a fuss over that. The -- the problem is, I don't love anything."

"I don't believe you. Everyone loves something." Castiel walked over to Rowena and placed two fingers on her forehead.

In reading her thoughts, he saw a boy with a goat in a field. Cas heard Rowena calling to him in another language.

He disclosed to Sam, "Polish boy. Oskar."

Rowena tried errantly dismissing the boy by providing a simple explanation, but Cas saw right through her, having gleaned exactly how significant the boy was to her.

"Uh, a peasant boy -- his family helped me through some difficulties, three hundred years ago."

Cas heard Sam speaking to someone named Rudy.

"What's up? How the h-"

Maybe he was a hunter, but it wasn’t like they could spare a moment, what with trying to cure Dean and not rage kill the only witch who could save him.

"So we need the Golden Calf, Forbidden Fruit, and..a hand of God. Oh, this evening just keeps getting better. You know who we have to call for this, right? I'm sure he'll be in a cooperative mood, seeing as you tried and failed to kill him recently."

She gave him one of her more impressive eye rolls, the kind in which only the whites of her eyes were visible, and she looked like she was having a stroke...

"Cas, Dean's in Nebraska on a case and he's already pissing people off. I've gotta grab Benny and reel him in. Stay here. Make this spell happen, please. Whatever you've got to do," Sam implored him, leaving a bag Cas could see was a hair sample from Dean.

Cas wanted to find another liquor store and drink it. But he couldn't, not with Rowena the middle aged crisis bitch, and her inconvenient skill set.

He whimpered out a pathetic, "Call me when you get there, Sam."

Looking Rowena in the eye, his flared blue to demonstrate how dead ass serious he was. "You're going to tell me everything about this Oskar boy, or I'll rip it from your mind and make it feel like I'm using a melon baller to do it."

"Consider me scared and aroused," Rowena waggled her eyes at him.

Countless hours later, Sam called to inform him that he and Benny found the Impala with a note, and a cabin where Dean had killed two people. Cas felt sick in a way he hadn't for a very long time. He shouldn't have left him..again. If he'd stayed, Dean wouldn't have gone on that case and snapped. What was wrong with him? He knew he did things with the intention of helping, so why did help always put Sam and Dean at risk?

Crowley walked in, and he was sooo not in the mood for his crap. "Why the long faces? Oh. Let me guess. Mother showed you her 'mustn't touch it' again."

"Do you have the ingredients?"

Crowley dropped a small bag on the table and Cas snatched Rowena's hand away from it.

"The Quince cost me a major I.O.U. with a Palestinian warlock. The gold from the calf -- well, let's just say I'll be hanged under certain sexual-deviancy laws if I ever show my face in Jordan again."

"And the third?" Rowena prompted ungratefully.

Crowley sighed, "Ah, yes."

Rowena and Cas listened while she grated the forbidden fruit into a bowl.

"Goodness Fergus, I do not, will not, and have not loved anything ever."

Crowley snapped his fingers, and Oskar walked into the room. Cas patiently observed he and Rowena staring at each other in surprise.

"Do you love this man? Rowena, is it true?"

If Rowena could disembowel him with her eyes, she would have. "For scooping around in my head with a melon baller, yae tell me, _you vulture_."

Then she looked at Oskar with tears in her eyes.

"Rowena. I hope I haven't hurt you."

"Even for you, Fergus, this is a new low -- a cruel, shameful, disgusting low."

"Come now Mother, it's only cruel if you actually go through with it. Kisses." The King of Hell wiggled his fingers in a cruel, faux wave, and disappeared with a look of stone cold satisfaction.

Rowena hugged Oskar and said, "You've grown so big. Everything's fine."

Cas saw a fountain pen in her hand and hoped she'd be swift.

"Nobody's hurting anybody. Goodbye, my sweet wee boy."

She stabbed him in the neck with the pen and when she pulled it out, blood spouted from Oskar’s neck.

She cried when she pushed him down so he bled into a metal bowl on the table. "Ab manu dei... Ab manu hominis."

Rowena threw ingredients into the bowl with the blood and the chains on her arms fell off. "Manete!"

Cas was suddenly overcome with trepidation about the words Rowena had been uttering. She really had loved Oskar, and the inevitable retribution for forcing her to kill the boy she cared for so deeply would be unfathomable. But the words just weren't jiving right with him. They sounded...familiar, when they should be the most foreign spell he'd ever heard. This situation was too dire to fail now, and his grace had been needling him at him that something was off.

Rowena picked up the Book, the codex, and the code breaker. "Ab cruore cordis, Mei adfusuro in aeternum," her voiced intensified with anger the longer she went on, "Tolle maledictionem tuam ab hoc viro.Dele malum-"

"Sleep."

He'd been right. She wasn't casting the spell to remove the Mark, she'd been preparing her revenge through sabotage. He would be grateful for his intuition later, because right then he could feel someone from afar, in desperate need of him.

Rowena was free and could go to Hell.

Gathering every drop of grace that remained within him, he prepared for maybe the last time to stretch his wings and fly.

Cas out.


	7. Knocking on Death's Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a paragraph I have messed with oer and over and over again that absolutely will not adjust properly. I'm sorry for that. It doesn't throw the whole story off, it just will not come over of center adjusted. My apologies!

Dean finished spray painting a sigil inside the establishment, void of other occupants. He chucked ingredients into a bowl resting in the middle of the symbol, cutting his palm over it, and uttered latin as his blood dripped below.

"Te nunc invoco, mortem. Te in mea potestate defixi," he said with a dead voice, hearing a rumbling and witnessing the lights inside pop, "Nunc et in aeternum."

When the rumbling ceased, Dean wrapped his hand in a blue bandana and waited for the inevitable.

"Don't tell me that's queso," the presence he'd summoned and bribed with taquitos voiced with as much enthusiasm as ever.

He turned around and saw Death, humoring him with an appearance.

"Yeah.. yes. Queso and, uh, taquitos, tamales," he bought the tray of food over to Death, "Homemade by yours truly. All with the bad fat."

Dean watched Death sniff the food, assessing it like a wraith of a critic. "Consider it an offering."

"For?" Death asked, not looking up from his appreciated selection of greasy roach coach fare.

"I want you to kill me."

Death wasn't moved in the slightest by his admission. Still not giving him his full attention he errantly mentioned, "What I find truly fascinating, Dean... mmm," he paused to at least give the chef his sounds of approval upon taking his snack, "That's good. ...is that you and I both know that I've been burned by you Winchesters before, yet you still call."

"Yeah, I know, but not this time, okay?” Dean walked over to Death and put down the tray. “No games, no second thoughts. I've tried to fight it. I've tried to beat it on my own. And I-I can't. I got no moves left -- except you."

Death sat down to enjoy the moment. Or Dean's cooking. Maybe both. "Well, I never thought I'd see the day. My goodness. But I won't kill you, Dean. And that Mark on your arm is the First Curse. Nothing can kill you.

"Okay, well, forget killing me. Can you get rid of it."

Death walked over, getting a little too close for Dean's comfort level. "I could, but only if you will share it with another."

"I'm not doing that... not to anyone."

"What if I told you I could relocate you somewhere you'd still be alive, but no longer a threat to those you love?"

That at least, was something. He pulled out his phone and dialed, inwardly amused he was putting Death on hold.

"Dean," Sam picked up.

"I gave it a shot, Sammy."

His brother implored him, "Listen to me -- whatever you're doing, whatever you've done, please…"

Dean refused to be derailed. "Hell, I even worked a case. I gave everything I had to beat this thing down."

"I saw. I saw Rudy," Sam painfully confessed.

"Well, then, you saw what I did." And this, the festering pain and rage inside him, only further drove home how badly this solution was needed.

"No, that wasn't you."

"Sure as hell felt like me," he paused to watch in odd satisfaction as Death enjoyed his comida offering, "Brother, I'm done."

Sam insisted..he begged, "No. No, you're not. Dean."

"Grab a pen. It's time to say goodbye."

Dean heard a commotion on the other end and wondered what was going on. He didn't have to wait for long because suddenly Benny, Sam, and Cas were in the bar, looking every bit as confused as him.

Sam and Cas saw Death, then froze. Benny just brushed off the teleportation and vaguely wondered who the British wraith was causing such a serious reaction.

"Of course you're here Castiel," Death muttered sarcastically, "but tell me how. I only meant to bring Sam."

"I used most of my grace to reach Sam and Benny. You must've brought them here just as I grabbed Sam's arm."

Dean noted how severely weakened Cas appeared, and it saddened him. More unnecessary sacrifices for him. This had to stop. They'd gotten to Charlie in the nick of time, but nobody else needed to be put in danger because of him.

A single gaze from Benny, all his confusion and sorrow at what was happening, had Dean fighting back the tears. Cas visibly struggled processing the suspicions he'd desperately hoped were groundless, but were confirmed right before his eyes. Dean saw he had trouble regulating his breathing.

How on earth had it come to this? He didn't even have the luxury of choosing between them, because he was busy trying to put as much galactic distance between himself and them as possible.

"I called you here to say goodbye. Sam, your brother summoned me here to end him."

The cry dying in Sam's throat nearly killed Dean; its crushing weight was the worst claustrophobic asthma attack he'd ever experienced.

"I told him I wouldn't do it. He's opted out of sharing the burden of the Mark with anyone else. So he's accepted my offer to put him some place else entirely where he can't hurt anyone."

Cas couldn't hold back anymore. "I raised your ass from Hell and rebelled for you. I've loved you more ardently than was ever thought possible for an angel.

Benny grabbed a beer bottle and threw it, the glass obliterating against the bar.

"You dragged my hide back here from monster Hell not once, but twice. I mighta been a reformed vamp before I met you, but you made me want to continue defying my nature. Now, after I'm finally human and we-...now you're leavin'?"

Dean dropped to his knees. "There's this..hole in me, a bottomless pit that keeps expanding to let more pain in. Every time I think I'm finally gonna die from the hurt, it just lets more in."

Sam had tears in his eyes when sharing, "I've said and done some unforgivable things to you, Dean. And somehow you've still forgiven me. Protected and saved me. Because of you, I never want to give up..especially not on you."

Death cut in with, "Overwhelming sentiments aren't my cup of tea. Dean, a word?" he turned to the rest and assured, "I'm not taking him. Not yet."

He snapped his fingers and they were sitting in Death's '59 Caddy Coupeville de Ville. "There's a reason you could bring Benny back. Before I take you, I think you deserve to know why."

That kind of disrupted the flow of the moment, but also got Dean's attention.

"Why?"

"Not to.. freak you out, but God has a rather soft spot for you. Specifically, you. All the other versions of you pale by comparison."

Dean didn't know what to say. He didn't know the guy, despite all secret attempts to contact him. "Thanks? And..other versions of me?"

"I really wouldn't, you don't know him like I do. And the other yous, now there's a curious itch you don't ever want to scratch.. However, you're an aberration, an anomaly. Castiel has sensed it. Your friend Benny has as well, though he can't quite define it."

This was news to him. And he wasn't sure he appreciated the term aberration.

"Dean, feel free to ask your angel sometime, but your emotional depth and range is greater than the average human. You are the very embodiment of humanity. That Mark amplifies your emotions, and because your feelings are stronger, it enables you to kill more effectively. Love more deeply. The desire and will to bring Benjamin back from that realm was so powerful, your will made it so."

"And now I gotta leave him. And Cas. And Sam."

"I'm giving you a choice. But believe me, you're not going to like it.

_Fuck my life, I never get that break._

Benny saw the rip inside Dean, his grief from loving

two, under the weight of knowing he could only have one. It hurt him too, although he'd known it all along. Guess he'd hoped for..well, he didn't rightly know. Having Dean once would make him happy forever. He just wished there wasn't a gut wrenching decision he had to make, because it looked like it was tearing the tattered pieces of his soul.

As much as he butted heads with Cas, he could tell the guy loved him. The angel’s eyes tracked Dean like a lost puppy, his entire demeanor was protective and ready to explode into warrior mode at the slightest threat to Dean, which Cas usually perceived as Benny himself. Guess he could dial it back a bit. He just went on what he knew. Dean did deserve people he loved staying with him, to take the load off his shoulders he always put upon himself.

An idea had been forming in his mind for some time. One he'd occasionally mulled over since he'd been back. It hurt to think about, and he was certain he'd get emotionally kicked in the teeth for even suggesting it. However, if Cas was willing to consider it, for Dean, he figured it was worth a shot.

"Sam, mind if me and Cas have a little pow-wow?" he asked.

Sam obviously couldn't fathom what on earth was so important at a time like this. Benny understood that. But if Dean was hitching a ride somewhere to galactic parts unknown, he deserved to know a peace had been made between the people he loved most. It was killing Benny to do this, but it wasn't about him. It was about easing the heart and mind of someone who'd had his heart since his blade’s first defensive swing in Purgatory.

"Uh..okay." Sam ambled over to the far corner of the establishment, giving them space, but still glancing at the spot Dean had just been standing.

Cas gave Benny a curious head tilt, which he found both infuriating and endearing.

"Benjamin?" he softly asked, his own emotions difficult for Benny to read.

"Need to get somethin' off my chest. It's about Dean. Since the first time I met him, his heart's belonged to you. But something in Purgatory happened he didn't plan on, and I have a piece of his heart too."

"So it would seem," Cas muttered, begrudgingly admitting, "But it's his choice."

"That it is. But..can't you see how much this is hurtin' him? Hell, I'm hurtin' too. As bad as it feels to me, it's a wonder he can walk and talk, let alone think right. You love him back."

It wasn't a question, but a need for verification.

"With everything that's possible for an angel to give."

"And you'd do anything to ease his pain, even if it meant shouldering that pain on yourself?"

"Of course. But are you expecting me to remove the choice by not fighting for him? You think I'm just going to roll over?"

"I'm not asking you to throw the fight. I'm suggesting we eliminate it altogether. Dean's heart is as true as a southern sunset, and love exists in many shades. A man's truly blessed to have as much as he can get. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes. But what are you suggesting?"

"Do you doubt my love for him? Do you trust me?"

"You're proposing we lift the burden of choice so he benefits from both our love?"

"Ya see, Hot Wings? Now you're gettin' it."

Benny watched Cas process the proposal. "It's not easy for me either. But taking the weight off of him, _is_."

Just then, Dean and Death popped back into the establishment. Dean looked miserable as Death announced, "I told you I'd bring him back. He's been given a choice. Planet X, or he goes back to Purgatory where the Mark can have free rein for all eternity."

"You never mentioned Purgatory! You said you'd put me somewhere I'd never hurt my loved ones again!"

"I told the truth. How many loved ones do you currently have there, Dean? You may take Benjamin with you if you like, since bringing him back broke the rules of the universe. Everyone goes back to where they belong."

"So Purefest and Benny, or somewhere else with nobody? Those are bullshit choices, and you know it!" Dean yelled.

"Whether they are or aren't isn't for me to decide. But _you_ must."

Benny could see the fresh Hell crushing Dean under its mountain of doom. He watched his torture-filled eyes go back and forth from him to Cas.

"I'll go with you," Benny insisted

"Why do you have to go at all?" Cas turned to Death and asked, "Rowena betrayed us with the spell, but can't you transfer it to someone else?"

Death rolled his eyes. "We've been over this. Yes. Dean has elected not to."

"Not to share it with anyone he knows, yes. But what about someone in the void?"

Dean and Sam wore the same confusion as he was feeling.

"What's this void place?" Benny needed to know.

Death raised an eyebrow. "It's the afterlife of nothingness for demons and angels. The Mark cannot be transferred to someone dead."

Sam interrupted with, "They aren't dead. Science has proven that energy never dies, it only transforms its state."

Cas backed him up. "They're in stasis..essentially, but technically not dead. Not really."

Dean added, "Vessels die. But if there's a place angels and demons go, then slap this on one of them sleeping uglies and knock their asses back out!"

"Dean, the Empty entity doesn't like being awakened, or so I've heard. Can it be done?" Cas queried to Death.

Death seemed irritated already, "Possibly. Dean would have to go with me."

"I could go with you," Cas vowed.

"Not the best idea, although I'll give you points for bravery. Who did you have in mind as a recipient?" Death asked as though relenting.

Benny had no clue who this Empty was, it sounded like neither Dean nor Sam did either. But if this was a loophole, he hoped it would work.

Cas confidently stated, "Raphael. An archangel can withstand the curse, especially if he's sleeping."

Death dithered a few moments before warning, "We can try, no guarantees. I haven't spoken with the entity in several billion years, and they're inconceivably cranky when awakened."

"Do they like Taquitos?" Dean errantly asked.

Benny saw everyone look at Dean like he was nuts. "It's polite to bring something. Don't start criticizing the notion of hospitality."

"I appreciate that, Benny. And I made the taquitos for Death here, he ain't killed me yet."

"Don't assume your taquitos gave me pause, though admittedly they are delicious. There isn't anything you could offer that the Empty would want. It'll be hard enough to engage in negotiations. I'll be right back."

Benny’s insides felt like they were constantly changing state. The suspense was killing him, and it wasn't even him on the proverbial chopping block. Sam was a sweaty, pacing mess, and Benny couldn't blame him. Cas was looking around the bar like he wanted to drink it. All of it. Dean's emotional state appeared frayed and frail, he stood in the middle of the bar among the sea of tables frozen and spacing out.

While Cas perused the bar, Benny walked over and held Dean’s hand. "Stay or go, Dean, you're not gonna be alone. Obviously I'm not on board with that ever happening."

It was difficult to determine precisely what Dean was feeling, but it was intense. Painful. Heartbreaking. Cas brought over a bottle of bourbon and a few glasses. Benny surmised the guy didn't drink much, given he'd filled them to the brim, but he'd poured enough for all of them and handed them out.

"Sam?" Cas offered him a glass, but he just smiled in wistful discomfort and shook his head.

"Wait," Sam seemed to change his mind. He lumbered over, while reaching into his jacket, and held out some photos to Dean.

"Take these. If this Empty thing doesn't work, then one day, I don't care how long it is, when you find your way back... let these be your guide. And they can help you remember what it was to be good...what it was to love."

He slammed into Dean, embracing him like he'd never see him again. Benny wanted to do the same thing, but brothers deserved their time too.

Dean had been taken off guard, and held out the two photos in his hand, unable to move as Sam was squeezing him so tight he probably couldn't breathe. Benny glanced at them quickly, always interested in anything which concerned Dean, and saw one of them was of Mary Winchester and Dean as a young boy. The other was of Mary, Dean, and Sam as an infant. Sam let him go, looking devastatingly conflicted.

While the dead look in Dean's eyes gave Benny chills, he realized it was because he sensed Death was standing directly behind him.

"Shall we strike while the iron's hot?" Death suggested.

Benny leaned in and bear hugged Dean as quickly as he could.

"Come back to us," he quietly pleaded while blessing Dean with a quick, yet tender kiss on his lips, not caring who else was present.

Dean was so terrified he couldn't speak, but he nodded. Cas threw his arms around him too, and murmured something too quiet for Benny and Sam to hear. Whatever it was, it didn't change the look of pure terror in his eyes.

"This will be uncomfortable for you. The void isn't meant for human souls. From the time we arrive it'll be trying to spit you out," Death warned.

That changed something in Dean. Benny saw him inwardly galvanizing, for a challenge.

"Won't be the first time I've been somewhere like that. Made it out once, I can do it again."

Benny was glad for his courage, for it was something he knew Dean Winchester had in spades, even in the face of something that had even monsters pissing themselves. Hell, Dean could be terrified and courageous while also the very thing making monsters piss and quake. He'd seen this bravery for nearly a year in Monsterland, and it was part of what made him fall in love with the storm that was Dean Winchester.

This was the Dean he knew and loved.

Then right before Benny's eyes, Dean and Death disappeared.


	8. The Empty

Complete and utter darkness. Blacker than black. Even with his eyes wide open and furiously blinking, Dean struggled to make sense of any forms or voids that would make visual sense. And _fuck him,_ was it cold there. He felt the coat of Death brushing against his forearm, along with a modicum of relief that even in their presence, he was comforted by such morose familiarity.

A bubbling sound reached his ears, like a faucet of running water..or even sludge, moving towards him. Even in the absence of light he sensed something rising and taking shape before him. Dean wasn't sure which was more terrifying; knowing or not knowing what was appearing nearby. It was the same paralyzing unease as something brushing or slithering against him in murky water.

Varying shades of grey dripped into and mingled with the pitch darkness in front of him. The ground itself was undulating as if a sandworm was preparing to breach through. Dean stepped back in panic but bumped right into Death's hands, clutching his cane, while he stood, immovable and ever unimpressed. The thing continued to grow and morph. As Dean's brain fought to make sense of the continually evolving glop of wtf in front of him, the sheer anticipation of what nightmarish form it might take made him want to scream.

Its height seemed to max out a few inches shorter than Dean, while the rest of it began to settle into a simple humanoid shape. Although he wanted to run, he was sandwiched between Death and the thing. Fingers from behind curled into a grip on his shirt and impatiently pulled him to the side, as an irritated parent might with their child.

The thing was more solid. When it stepped out of the black and grey goo like breaking a mold, the person it revealed was a familiar surprise. Although lacking the playful flirtation behind their eyes, which was so annoyingly present in life, they still smiled.

"I presume this is the gnat you mentioned?" Balthazar sang.

"This is Dean Winchester," Death confirmed.

Being under the stare of not Balthazar, but something else entirely, something whose true form was so alien he was thankful for the image of the bratty angel who'd died years ago, Dean was growing increasingly uncomfortable. The sensation was like getting his skin peeled off, but it didn't actually hurt..yet. Knowing it was not Balthazar looking back at him, was exceptionally creepy.

"What a disruptive insect you are.." Balthazar issued with a beatific smile, "I'd slowly pull your wings off, if I wasn't so sleepy. Who's the lucky recipient of this curse?"

Straightening himself in defiance, Dean retorted, "Disruptive is kind of my thing. Raphael."

The entity smiled at him threateningly, "So be it."

Not Balthazar extended his hand behind him, as if reaching for someone while maintaining unnerving eye contact with Dean. The ground rippled and once again, he felt as if his skin were being peeled away, and this time left a burning soreness like deep frostbite setting in. As if rising from water, the slumbering form of the vessel which held Raphael rested peacefully by not Balthazar's feet.

"Your arm," Death requested, stepping between Sleeping Fugly and Dean.

He took off his flannel, already reluctant to do so because of the biting cold he felt. Honestly, if Dean could know what the inside of a blackhole felt like, this place would be it. Extending his arm in front of him, he braced for the excruciating pain he remembered all too well when he'd accepted the Mark from Cain.

And it was worse. So much worse than he could've imagined. The high pitched ringing in his ears were ice picks in his drums. The light red glow from Death's hand upon his skin singed, within seconds he could smell the flesh of his arm cooking. He grunted, in an attempt to keep his verbal agony to a minimum. But damn, was it tough. To make matters worse, as Death continued to deep fry his arm, Not Balthazar strode over and began a menacing conversation.

"Oh, how strong you are. I can feel how much it hurts..on your insides. Your loss. Your failures, of which there are many. Your choices always lead you from the pot into the frying the pan, don't they? No matter what you do, no matter how you try not to, you get people you love killed. If they don't leave you first. They see how you've failed, and run to avoid the path of destruction you leave in your wake."

"Shut it, dick."

At that, Balthazar's silver tongue flexed its barbs. "Your own brother couldn't be bothered to look for you when you were in Purgatory. He'd rather have quiet and a pet. How incredibly sad."

His arm was turning black and the stench was sickening. The nerves around the Mark were cauterized by the cold burn, but in the surrounding tissue they were alive and on fire. Dean could barely stand, let alone try to concentrate on anything else but the shit show this asshole was spewing.

"But your biggest fear is something you keep locked so deep, it's at the bottom of your heart, and you drown in it like a coffin in the ocean every waking second. There's no escaping it, even in your dreams. You can't even love right. You're an emotional disease. Your lovers are so much better than you Dean, that much I'll give them."

Dean couldn't help getting a gander at how bad his arm was. When he saw the gaping hole and melted tissue around a good four or five inches of exposed ulnar and radius, his knees buckled.

"Even as a vampire, a curse..a Mark in its own right, Benjamin still tried to do better. To be better. And you know what his better looked like? Getting so far away from you he was willing to let you send him an entire world away. He'd rather spend his eternity fighting his own kind than stay with you!"

Jesus, if Death didn't hurry up, Dean was certain he was going to lose his entire arm. The pain and the gangrenous smell were so overwhelming he didn't know whether to puke or pass out. Balthazar was right, his love was a disease, or rather he was. _When Castiel laid a hand on you he was lost! The very touch of you corrupts!_

"And your angel..what an astounding piece of work he is. He's lied to you. Betrayed you. Stolen from you. Literally left you to the wolves in Purgatory, and he preferred it to coming home with you. No wonder you feel so unworthy. Because you are!"

Death was speaking to him, but he was slipping and barely heard what was said.

"Hang.. Dean, .. most finish.."

The last thing he saw was the sleeping form of Raphael and his arm lit up by Death, before his head hit the ground.

  


"Sleeping Super Chief stirred yet?" The whisper was faint.

"Not that I'm aware of," Cas answered Benny, still fatigued himself. After he and Death both worked to heal Dean's arm from the vicious wound, it'd taken a severely substantial amount of his grace. Dean had been unconscious for over fifteen hours. Cas had actually needed rest too, between his attempts to reach them in time at the bar and depleting his grace with healing, he had spent a few hours beside Dean, once at home in his room. Benny had come in to check on them, and Cas assumed he wanted to take over his watch.

That's when Dean finally stirred in Cas's arms. They'd slipped him under the covers when they got home and to his surprise, Benny suggested he curl up with him and take a nap. He tossed a nod to the Cajun whose head was peeking in the doorway, and decided to quietly slither in onto the couch in case this was it.

They watched Dean open and close his eyes, then curl into Cas's neck, pulling him in closer by his waist.

"How long h-where's Death?" Dean shot upright as if injected with adrenaline.

"Hold your horses there, everything's fine. You came back in bad shape, it took a while to mend you, and even longer for you to sleep it off," Benny reassured.

Cas watched as Dean subconsciously ran his hand over his arm where that gaping wound had been. The same arm Cas had healed which had birthed Benny weeks and weeks ago. "The Mark is gone. You're free of it."

The slump of relief in Dean's shoulders soothed Castiel’s grace. And yet, he felt another tension altogether seeping through Dean's all too brief calm.

"Lock the door. There's something I've got to say to you both," Dean said, his voice heavy with burden.

Benny reluctantly obliged, returning to his spot on the mini couch to respectfully listen.

"I've done something I'm not proud of, and with everything that was going on with me-ya know, never-ending. There's no blaming this on the Mark, there's no excuse. Benny, I'm in love with you. Thought I'd buried my feelings for you when Sam thought you'd died saving him. And Cas, I've been in love with you..since I don't know when, but never thought I deserved your love in return. I've slept with both of you, and it’s just so goddamned unfair to either of you. Back in that place, the Empty told me I can't even love right. It's true and I'm so sorry. This is a mess, and I don't know what to do," he buried his face in his hands in shame.

Castiel couldn't stand for Dean to think ill of himself a second longer.

"You feel things more acutely than any other human. It's unique and because of it, I've cared about Sam. I've cared about other people when angels aren’t supposed to beyond our orders and protocol. You see yourself the way our enemies see you. But it’s wrong. You're the kindest man, and I love you."

Benny piped up with, "And what kind of thing is that to say to somebody? You don't love right..loving harder isn't wrong. Sounds like this Empty doesn't know the first thing about love. Or people. Especially if they're the keeper of demons and angels. No offense, Cas."

He sighed, "None taken." And he meant it. His brethren had demonstrated time and time again that they just didn't have the equipment to care.

Cas continued to explain, "We're aware of your feelings, Dean. Love doesn't exist in numbers and limits. It's not something that should be quantified, or that you have to choose between. True happiness is in just the 'being' of it. Your love is a gift, one we'd both like to keep..if you're amenable to that."

"But..but..I ..thought you guys hated each other! You're always at each other's throats!" Dean was so confused.

  


Benny smiled nervously and clarified, "Your angel gets under my skin, no doubt. But the both of us love you more than we hate each other. We'll find a way to make amends, if it means you don't have to choose."

Cas noted Dean's blank stare of disbelief. He waved his hand in front of Dean's eyes to no avail.

"You think we broke'em, Hot Wings?"

Cas thought it best to simplify the immediate situation for Dean.

"Physically, he's well. A constant I've learned is to give him time. And caffeine. It's 2:42 in the afternoon. Why don't you get him in the shower? I'll make coffee."

Opening the bedroom door he felt awkward, but also genuine when speaking to Benny. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Making his happiness more important than our petty issues. It's a difficult, selfless decision. One strong enough that I can trust. Maybe even begin to put my faith in."

"Careful angel, you're mighty close to making amends. Where's the fun in that?" He teased with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

The joy of sharing. He may as well get used to it. With a careful alliance made, Cas felt confident enough to deliver a light hearted jab.

"Benjamin, I'd engage with you in a battle of wits, but it seems unfair since you're unarmed."

With that, he left a chuckling Benny to spend some time with Dean, and make some coffee.<p>&nbsp

  


Dean didn't know what to say. He didn't get this kind of happy. Ever. And he'd never done this..poly relationship thing before. How did he even act with one..boyfriend? when the other was around? And Sam? His brain was short circuiting. Benny came to his rescue, sitting beside him silently holding his hand, without pressure to talk. He knew Cas was home, that he hadn't left. Sam was there too, somewhere. What an odd existence this was.

He felt gross and probably smelled even worse. "Shower."

It was sometime between lathering and rinsing that reality kicked in. Benny loved him. He got to keep Benny. And he got to keep Cas. For certain they'd kill each other. But he'd be there to referee. Sam too, if the guy could stand it. Rowena was in the wind and no doubt had murder on her mind. Maybe she'd get over it. Maybe she wouldn't. But now he had Team Free Purgatory 2.0 and they'd be ready.

He grabbed Benny, who was just as wonderfully naked as him, but behaving, and crushed him in a kiss. His inner damn burst open and was hemorrhaging happiness. It felt like Benny was exuding the same joy, as he rinsed the soap out of his eyes and hugged him like he never wanted to let go. The two made out like hormone-fueled teenagers until the water finally ran cold.

They entered the kitchen smelling fresh and bedecked in the finest men's lingerie of sweatpants and henleys to find fresh coffee waiting for them at the kitchen table. While Benny sat right down to guzzle the brew, Dean couldn't keep from his angel another second. He walked right up behind the nearly naked Cas, sans trench and jacket, and slid his arms around him tightly. Resting his chin on Cas's shoulder, he watched him pour a fourth cup. That's when he heard the rustling of paper as someone else entered the kitchen.

"Dean, you look...rested," Sammy said with a sunshine smile.

Oh Gawd, did he feel awkward hanging on to Cas like this. He started to pull away but Cas wouldn't let him, and he noticed not the slightest hint of discomfort in Sam's genuinely pleasant expression. Same with Benny.

"So Benny, how's Holly Beach this time of year?" Sam asked, taking a seat opposite him at the table.

Cas held Dean's hand while bringing Sam the coffee, and let it go as he sat and comfortably scooted in next to him on the bench seat. Dean sat beside Benny, swiping his cup of Lazarus brew. Guzzling the piping hot liquid, he felt a hand gently lacing their fingers together, and someone's foot from across the table press into his ankle. The goofy and precious nonverbal communication and affection conveyed that both wanted to be close to him. Wanted to stay. For good.

"Haven't been out that way in a blue moon. Used to be pretty good. Wouldn't mind goin' again, why? You find a case?" Benny casually wondered.

Sam shook his head. "No, was thinking we could all use a vacation."

"It's about time. We deserve it," Dean insisted.

"We do," both Benny and Cas said at the same time.

Dean was about to burst with happiness. No doubt this dynamic would take some breaking in. It would take time, faith, and trust. But finally, he was surrounded by people he loved, who loved him back and were choosing to stay. Choosing to make this weird family work.

It was an equilibrium he never imagined he'd reach. And a happily ever after of which he'd never let go.


End file.
